Black Quote by Emo Philips

My wife is so bad at sex, I close my eyes and pretend she's my hand.

— Nikhil Saluja

What do you do if you're in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen…

— Bob Saget

My wife's so dumb, she got a nail in the spare!!

— Rodney Dangerfield

A friend sang karaoke she said how' did I do I said The last time I heard that sound I was trimming my wife's…

— Stanley Victor Paskavich

And when her eyes met mine, I felt something click, like a key turning in a lock.

— Nicholas Sparks

My wife thinks I'm crazy.

— Sturgill Simpson

She had the kind of fingers you want to interlace with your own.

— John Green

My wife had a go at me last night. She said, Youll drive me to my grave. I had the car out in thirty…

— Tommy Cooper

My wife told me I'm not as disgusting to her as I used to be.

— John Kruk

I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like... magic.

— Nora Ephron

[On her mastectomy:] Fact is, I'm the same car I always was, except now I have a dent in my fender.

— Betty Rollin

I married her just because she looks like you.

— Lyle Lovett