Asks Quote by Doug Stanhope

“Before you ask for the people to rise up and take what's theirs, meet the people, because they're really, really, bafoons.”

Doug Stanhope

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I had no musical or athletic ability, and I wasn't particularly good looking. Comedy was something I could do for attention.

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Jesus died for your sins. I'm doing it for your mere entertainment dollar.

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I believe that everyone should be treated as an individual. Women should be treated equally in the right to vote, sure. But if Im…

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They say 'life is precious'. To who? To you, when you're young and you've got a few dollars in your pocket. Tell that to…

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The ultimate act of cowardice is the fat-headed wrestling guy sitting behind the frail kid in math class, clipping him on the ear, saying:…

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There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life.

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The whole acting and Hollywood [thing], it's just work to me. Stand-up comedy ruins you so badly for doing television. I don't really need…

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You should laugh everywhere you can find even the slightest glimmer of humour.

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I have no fear of death, except I hate waiting for it.

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Everybody's angry. They've got nothing to be angry at, so they're angry about nothing.

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People who want to kill other people are the last people I want to party with, because I get mouthy when I drink.

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Democracy is the worst kind of government, I'm sorry. Would you still call yourself a Christian if they elected a new Jesus every four…

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The most fundamental question we can ever ask ourselves is whether or not the universe we live in is friendly or hostile.

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Asks Quote by Doug Stanhope

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