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Time Quotes by Jay Leno
- Ambition beats genius 99% of the time
- According to a survey in this week's Time magazine, 85% of Americans think global warming is happening. The other 15% work for the White House.
- According to Time magazine, global warming is 33% worse than we thought. You know what that means? Al Gore is one-third more annoying than we…
- According to the British Journal of Psychiatry, marijuana can cause panic attacks. I don't know . . . The only time I have ever seen…
- Hillary Clinton's opponent in the U.S. Senate race, the Republican she's going to be running against, has been married three times, had an affair with…
- For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward.
- A new poll shows that Americans now believe that Bill Clinton is more honest than President Bush. At least when Clinton screwed the nation, he…
- Bill Maher and I are on against each other, and we're friends. He can do my show any time he wants, and I've done Politically…
- Researchers at Harvard say that taking a power nap for an hour in the afternoon can totally refresh you. They say that by the time…
- If Jay spent as much time studying as he does trying to be a comedian, he'd be a big star.
- They say that most airline seats on planes today are meant for 170-pound passengers. The last time the average American weighed 170 pounds, the Wright…
- I'm glad the government has shut down. Think about it, for the first time in years it's safe to talk on the phone and send…
- Facebook has revealed their estimated net worth - $96 billion. That's almost as much money as businesses lose every year from their employees wasting time…
- President Obama is asking Congress to support a military strike in Syria. If they approve, it will be the first time Congress has officially declared…
- President Bush said it's now time for a change in Iraq and he wants them to have a Western-style democracy like ours. So right now…
- L.A.'s large convenience stores are so big they can accommodate up to twenty armed robbers at one time.
- For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now…
- With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat…
- President Bush is taking the entire month of August off. Bush said today he thinks it is important for a president to spend time away…
- The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree...and think 25 to life would be appropriate. --Jay Leno
- I'm going to be going to a secluded spot where no one can find me - NBC prime time.
More Time Quotes
- No punishment has ever possessed enough power of deterrence to prevent the commission of crimes. On the contrary, whatever the punishment, once… — Hannah Arendt
- As far as we are concerned, we are ready to leave today, tomorrow, at any time, to join the people of Haiti,… — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- The first time Haiti had free and fair democratic elections was 1990, when I was elected. — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and… — Aristotle
- I feel like obviously the standard for what TV looks like changes all the time. — J. J. Abrams
- For one swallow does not make a summer, nor does one day; and so too one day, or a short time, does… — Aristotle
- The young are permanently in a state resembling intoxication. — Aristotle
- We praise a man who feels angry on the right grounds and against the right persons and also in the right manner… — Aristotle
- But if nothing but soul, or in soul mind, is qualified to count, it is impossible for there to be time unless… — Aristotle
- Whether if soul did not exist time would exist or not, is a question that may fairly be asked; for if there… — Aristotle
- I design for real people. I think of our customers all the time. There is no virtue whatsoever in creating clothing or… — Giorgio Armani
- I love things that age well - things that don't date, that stand the test of time and that become living examples… — Giorgio Armani