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Stephen Colbert's Page
Shoot Me Quotes by Stephen Colbert
1 Shoot Me quote by Stephen Colbert
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Stephen Colbert has 324 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:
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Look, PETA! If God hadn't wanted us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them so darn tasty!
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Even the weather page is in a state of moral decay. What?s wrong with red, white and blue, USA Today? This rainbow…
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Make no mistake - they're coming for our guns. And we freedom-loving gun lovers are totally defenseless! Other than, you know, the…
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Nothing reassures parents more than surrounding their kids with the kind of guys who have a lot of weapons and nothing to…
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Yes, Dr. King is pro-gun just as surely as Jesus would be pro-nails.
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If it's called the USA Today, why is all the news from yesterday?
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I welcome opposing viewpoints, but I should warn you that you'll be facing off against the 2nd-place finisher at the 1981 Charleston…
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Al Gore has a hit movie called 'An Inconvenient Truth.' I have an inconvenient truth for him: you're still not the president.…
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First, [in high school], I smoked a lot of pot...and that's how I got to know the people 'half in' the society…
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If Jesus doesn't have a sense of humor, I am in huge trouble.
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I must confess that I've never trusted the Web. I've always seen it as a coward's tool. Where does it live? How…
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Young girls are obsessed with having a thigh gap. I blame the impossible body standards set by Spongebob.
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More Shoot Me Quotes
Popular Shoot Me quotes from across the collection:
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I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my…
— Brendan Behan
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I've always been a daydreamer, and sometimes in lessons my mind would drift and I'd imagine that on the way home a…
— Malala Yousafzai
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I had someone at the Houston police station shoot me with heroin so I could do a story about it. The experience…
— Dan Rather
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If I ever end up being the kind of person who has one kid and seven bedrooms. Do me a favor and…
— John Green
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To sit here at the same table with my hero, George W. Bush...I feel like I'm dreaming. Somebody pinch me. You now…
— Stephen Colbert
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I've never really thought about competing with cartoons. If it ever gets to that point, then just shoot me.
— Lucy Liu
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I would tell him that shoot me but first listen to me. And I would tell him that education is my right…
— Malala Yousafzai
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I had to go see the Glee concert with my daughter - oh my God, shoot me.
— Melissa Etheridge
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God, just shoot me the day I start making music you can just put on in the car and have a conversation…
— Jack Antonoff
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If you're asking for a date, forget it. 'Cause I make it a point not to go out with women who shoot…
— Dante Alighieri
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And anyway, it's only movies. to stop me I think they'll ahve to shoot me in the head.
— Ridley Scott
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I found myself in the middle of a race riot when I was about 14 years old, and I found someone pointing…
— Tracy Chapman
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