« All Me Quotes · Stephen Colbert's Page
Me Quotes by Stephen Colbert
- Join me in standing up against any actual knowledge about guns. Let the CDC know they can take away our ignorance when the pry it…
- To sit here at the same table with my hero, George W. Bush...I feel like I'm dreaming. Somebody pinch me. You now what, I'm a…
- It's time for me to give out an award to newly elected Majority Leader John Boehner. Mr. Boehner was elected just a few days ago…
- I love the earth. If you ask me it's the greatest planet in the world.
- This is America. I don't want a tomato picked by a Mexican. I want it picked by an American, then sliced by a Guatemalan and…
- Now, I don't see color. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because police officers call me 'sir'.
- And that brings us to tonight's word: Truthiness. Now I'm sure some of the word-police, the 'wordanistas' over at Websters, are gonna say, 'Hey, that's…
- And my daughter said, 'Why are you yelling at us?' and I said, 'I'm trying to discipline you!' And then she looked up at me…
- I won't be doing the new show in character, so we'll all get to find out how much of him was me. I'm looking forward…
- In 1986, our commencement speaker was George Schultz, secretary of state, fourth in line to the president. You get me-basic cable's second most popular fake…
- Corporations have free speech, but they can't speak like you and me. They don't have mouths or hands ...
- Am I proud of being straight? No. You know why? Because if I start acting proud, that's going to make me seem kind of gay.
- I love the Internet, and the Internet loves me back. Why else would it offer me so much sex?
- I not only loved studying theater, I loved being a theater major. It gave me an excuse to brood, to grow a beard, to wear…
- Northwestern's alumni list is truly impressive. This university has graduated best-selling authors, Olympians, presidential candidates, Grammy winners, Peabody winners, Emmy winners, and that's just me!
- Baby carrots are making me gay.
- The only thing that gets me high is the musky scent of my enemy's fear
- President Bush, have a hot dog with me.
- Ghost of Bobby: no, no you can't eat me. I'm a ghost. Stephen Colbert: That just means that there's less bones to pick out.
- I cannot stand people who disagree with me on the issue of Roe v. Wade... which I believe is about the proper way to cross…
More Me Quotes
- Don't be selfish and tell me why you're unfollowing me so I can retweet it for the rest and we all can… — Nikhil Saluja
- I don't know I really love u or not. But whenever I think about my life without u it kills me. Whenever… — Anurag Prakash Ray
- From heresy, frenzy and jealousy, good Lord deliver me. — Ludovico Ariosto
- Ironically, the first thing that appealed to me about Islam was its pluralism. The fact that the Koran praises all the great… — Karen Armstrong
- Throughout all of this confusion, I hope I somehow get to you. I practice all the things I'd say to tell you… — Superman
- I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore… — Pietro Aretino
- Having been a child actor, I remember how directors would trick me to get good performances out of me. I don't think… — Asia Argento
- I'm literally open to any medium that will have me. — J. J. Abrams