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Make Quotes by Stephen Colbert
- Make no mistake - they're coming for our guns. And we freedom-loving gun lovers are totally defenseless! Other than, you know, the guns.
- But you are also the biggest threat of all ...You are a gay person I like. Your threat is that you make being gay seem…
- TV's Tony Snow becomes the White House press secretary. How will he make the difficult transition from Fox News reporter to Republican apologist? ... Mr.…
- You may learn sooner than most generations the hard lesson that you must always make the path for yourself...There is no secret society out there…
- Can accidentally eating halal food make you Muslim? Yes, the same way drinking a cosmo can make you gay.
- I'll make fun of anybody. We're all about falling down and going boom on camera.
- And when those bombs went off, there were runners who, after finishing a marathon, kept running for another two miles to the hospital to donate…
- Am I proud of being straight? No. You know why? Because if I start acting proud, that's going to make me seem kind of gay.
- I didn't realize quite how liberal I was until I was asked to make passionate comedic choices as opposed to necessarily successful comedic choices.
- If we raise taxes on corporations, what incentive will they have to make money other than the fact that it's the sole reason they exist.
- You CAN make an omelette without breaking eggs. It's just a really bad omelette.
- I'm not here to affect you politically or socially. I'm here to make you laugh. I use the news as the palette for my jokes.
- I know that the pope's infallible, but that doesn't mean he can't make mistakes.
- I used to make up stuff in my bio all the time, that I used to be a professional ice-skater and stuff like that. I…
- I am no fan of books. And chances are, if you're reading this, you and I share a healthy skepticism about the printed word. Well,…
- Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those…
- The way to a man's heart is through his stomach...just make sure you thrust upward through his ribcage.
- ‎You cannot correct an old person every time they say something offensive. You would never make it through Thanksgiving dinner!
- Summer movie idea: take all the sequels that are out right now, and make movies about their backstories.
- Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those…
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