« All All Quotes · Stephen Colbert's Page
All Quotes by Stephen Colbert
- If it's called the USA Today, why is all the news from yesterday?
- But you are also the biggest threat of all ...You are a gay person I like. Your threat is that you make being gay seem…
- We all know why [the generals] are so critical of the defense secretary. They're being defensive because they weren't able to implement his brilliant plan…
- Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything. It's certainty.
- I won't be doing the new show in character, so we'll all get to find out how much of him was me. I'm looking forward…
- I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.
- Today, folks, should be all about love. Unless you're old.
- I believe all God's creatures have a soul... except bears, bears are Godless killing machines!
- Leaving religious texts open too interpretation is the downfall of religion itself. If it is truly the word of God then there is no room…
- You are about to start the greatest improvisation of all. With no script. No idea what's going to happen, often with people and places you…
- Democrats lead in all the polls by at least ten points, except one.. Fox News. That is with a margin of error of plus or…
- I'll make fun of anybody. We're all about falling down and going boom on camera.
- It's no surprise I am addicted to all the Republican presidential candidates. They are like crack -- in that they will devastate black communities.
- We all deserve credit for this new surveillance state that we live in because we the people voted for the Patriot Act. Democrats and Republicans…
- And when those bombs went off, there were runners who, after finishing a marathon, kept running for another two miles to the hospital to donate…
- I don't trust books. They're all fact, no heart. And that's exactly what's pulling our country apart today. Because face it, folks, we are a…
- It used to be, everyone was entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts. But that's not the case anymore. Facts matter not…
- I spent my first two years at a small all-male college in Virginia called Hampden-Sydney. That was like going to college 120 years ago. The…
- Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came up with the word. I don't know whether it's a…
- Thankfully, dreams can change. If we'd all stuck with our first dream, the world would be overrun with cowboys and princesses.
More All Quotes
- . . . a basic law: the more you practice the art of thankfulness, the more you have to be thankful for.… — Norman Vincent Peale
- Democracy arises out of the notion that those who are equal in any respect are equal in all respects; because men are… — Aristotle
- Whenever my pocket money fall short. I start to think my life sucks. Then I think about all those out there who… — Anurag Prakash Ray
- Don't be selfish and tell me why you're unfollowing me so I can retweet it for the rest and we all can… — Nikhil Saluja
- All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion, desire. — Aristotle
- No cause is left but the most ancient of all, the one, in fact, that from the beginning of our history has… — Hannah Arendt
- Throughout all of this confusion, I hope I somehow get to you. I practice all the things I'd say to tell you… — Superman
- I realize my mistake when I lost you in the crowd. I felt the pain n loneliness when I lost you. U… — Anurag Prakash Ray