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Up Quotes by Stephen Colbert
- Join me in standing up against any actual knowledge about guns. Let the CDC know they can take away our ignorance when the pry it…
- No matter how you were born, no matter how you identify, I want to be clear that I would be proud to grind you up…
- Last night, we did the Threatdown -- God, it's hard to even talk about this -- and for the first time, I didn't mention bears.…
- And my daughter said, 'Why are you yelling at us?' and I said, 'I'm trying to discipline you!' And then she looked up at me…
- I believe in pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps. I believe it is possible — I saw this guy do it once in Cirque…
- You have to have a passionate opinion; otherwise you sound false. You end up telling the audience jokes they've already heard.
- And we didn't have cell phones. If you made plans to meet someone in a snow storm, and they didn't show up, you just had…
- Give a man a suicide bomb, he blows up once. Teach a man to suicide bomb, he also blows up once.
- Used books are the sluts of the literary world. Passed around from person to person, spreading their pages for anyone, getting cheaper and cheaper until…
- I've been accused of being unambitious, but what I do takes up every minute. I'm executive producer, I'm a writer and the host.
- Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came up with the word. I don't know whether it's a…
- I used to make up stuff in my bio all the time, that I used to be a professional ice-skater and stuff like that. I…
- Tomorrow you're all going to wake up in a brave new world, a world where the Constitution gets trampled by an army of terrorist clones,…
- So if animals aren't our friends, then what are they? The answer can be summed up between two buns.
- I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government…
- Turn up your hearing aid 'Grandpa', because I'm only going to say this once!
- Senator John Kyle claiming that over 90 percent of what Planned Parenthood does is abortion. Stephen Colbert: Over 90 percent, that is unbelievable...in that it…
- Internet users, that blue screen of death you were looking at this morning? That's the sky. If you're still confused, look it up on Wikipedia…
- The fate of our country is now in the hands of people who don't think about what they want until they get right up to…
- Life is an improvisation. You have no idea what's going to happen next and you are mostly just making things up as you go along.
More Up Quotes
- The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their minds to be good or evil. — Hannah Arendt
- Beautician: the official occupation of the 'I wear too much make-up fat girl'. — Nikhil Saluja
- All virtue is summed up in dealing justly. — Aristotle
- Do you know how much you mean to me? Do you know that you are the first thing I think of when… — Superman
- Successful people don't relax on a chair. They feel relaxed with their work. They sleep with their dreams and wake up with… — Ritu Ghatourey
- Yet, so far from laboring to know the forbidden tree of worldly pleasures and its various fruits, man gives himself up to… — Johann Arndt
- I grew up in a working-class family, so I guess you could say I write from what I know. — Andrea Arnold
- That said, the question remains: how to strike the balance between free speech and mutual respect in this mixed-up world, both blessed… — Timothy Garton Ash