"Last night, we did the Threatdown -- God,……" — Stephen Colbert
"Last night, we did the Threatdown -- God, it's hard to even talk about this -- and for the first time, I didn't mention bears. It's winter, they're asleep, I didn't think it would be a problem. But today I see this in the Toronto Globe and Mail -- apparently a 700-pound polar bear showed up at a children's hockey game. I've said this before, they're after our kids -- they're tender, juicy, you don't even have to throw away the bones."
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Stephen Colbert
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321 Quotes by Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert has 321 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Look, PETA! If God hadn't wanted us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them so darn tasty!
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Even the weather page is in a state of moral decay. What?s wrong with red, white and blue, USA Today?…
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Make no mistake - they're coming for our guns. And we freedom-loving gun lovers are totally defenseless! Other than, you…
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Nothing reassures parents more than surrounding their kids with the kind of guys who have a lot of weapons and…
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Yes, Dr. King is pro-gun just as surely as Jesus would be pro-nails.
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If it's called the USA Today, why is all the news from yesterday?
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I welcome opposing viewpoints, but I should warn you that you'll be facing off against the 2nd-place finisher at the…
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Al Gore has a hit movie called 'An Inconvenient Truth.' I have an inconvenient truth for him: you're still not…
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First, [in high school], I smoked a lot of pot...and that's how I got to know the people 'half in'…
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If Jesus doesn't have a sense of humor, I am in huge trouble.
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I must confess that I've never trusted the Web. I've always seen it as a coward's tool. Where does it…
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Young girls are obsessed with having a thigh gap. I blame the impossible body standards set by Spongebob.
See all 321 quotes by Stephen Colbert »
More Apparently Quotes
This quote is filed under Apparently Quotes,
one of 751 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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In 1765, Parliament passed the Stamp Act, which, as any American high school student can tell you, was an act…
— Dave Barry
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Apparently, I get facials and manicures all the time. I read this and think, 'Oh, I wish I did that!'…
— Kate Beckinsale
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I find it difficult to judge myself, but people say that I have become a bit more socially acceptable over…
— Jo Brand
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Men long for an afterlife in which there apparently is nothing to do but delight in heaven's wonders.
— Louis D. Brandeis
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Apparently we love our own cell phones but we hate everyone else's.
— Joe Bob Briggs
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Body language is a very powerful tool. We had body language before we had speech, and apparently, 80% of what…
— Deborah Bull
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Apparently there are some Democratic leaders in the Senate that are running for office who now believe in tax cuts.
— Jeb Bush
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I had written the script for Juno and apparently Steven Spielberg had read it. I can't just call him Steven,…
— Diablo Cody
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Apparently, union bosses are so distraught about declining enrollments they will stoop to exploiting illegal workers. There is no doubt…
— Lamar S. Smith
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The Silurian Period-the grandest of all the Periods,-and, as yet, apparently the seed-time of all succeeding life.
— Unknown Author
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According to the teaching of our Lord, what is wrong with the world is precisely that it does not believe…
— John Baillie
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Once you make the unequivocal internal commitment to do something - when you absolutely know this is the time and…
— Sarah Susanka
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