« All Philosophy Quotes · George Carlin's Page
Philosophy Quotes by George Carlin
- The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on…
- When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
- People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.
- And what can we do to silence these Christian athletes who thank Jesus whenever they win, never mention his name when they lose? Not a…
- It's the old American Double Standard, ya know: Say one thing, do somethin' different. And of course this country is founded on the double standard.…
- If you take five white guys and put 'em with five black guys, and let 'em hang around together for about a month, and at…
- Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view.
- If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse.
- So about 80 years after the Constitution is ratified, the slaves are freed. Not so you'd really notice it of course; just kinda on paper.…
- Let me get a sip of water here...you figure this stuff is safe to drink? Actually, I don't care, I drink it anyway. You know…
- One of the more pretentious political self-descriptions is 'Libertarian.' People think it puts them above the fray. It sounds fashionable, and to the uninitiated, faintly…
- Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.
- So I say, “Live and let live.” That’s my motto. “Live and let live.” And anyone who can’t go along with that, take him outside…
- Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that…
- The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,”…
- Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
- Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans…
- The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- Capitalism tries for a delicate balance: It attempts to work things out so that everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from getting violent…
- Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
More Philosophy Quotes
- Nothing we use or hear or touch can be expressed in words that equal what is given by the senses. — Hannah Arendt
- Those who educate children well are more to be honored than they who produce them; for these only gave them life, those… — Aristotle
- The aim of art is to represent not the outward appearance of things, but their inward significance. — Aristotle
- Poetry is finer and more philosophical than history; for poetry expresses the universal, and history only the particular. — Aristotle
- I have gained this from philosophy: that I do without being commanded what others do only from fear of the law. — Aristotle
- The end of labor is to gain leisure. — Aristotle
- Perception is reality. — Lee Atwater
- How much time he saves who does not look to see what his neighbor says or does or thinks. — Marcus Aurelius
- Be content with what you are, and wish not change; nor dread your last day, nor long for it. — Marcus Aurelius
- We live on the leash of our senses. — Diane Ackerman
- Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you're alive, it isn't. — Richard Bach
- A little philosophy inclineth man's mind to atheism, but depth in philosophy bringeth men's minds about to religion. — Francis Bacon