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Off Quotes by Dave Barry
- Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.
- Shawn's (Shawn Weatherly - former beauty queen) acting ability is such that she could not convey the concept of falling if your pushed her off…
- Albert Einstein, who discovered that a tiny amount of mass is equal to a huge amount of energy, which explains why, as Einstein himself so…
- The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the next six thousand years, to even…
- I say the American Medical Association ought to get the hell off the golf course and answer this question ...
- Earnest is our dog. She senses instantly that something is wrong, and guided by that timeless and unerring nurturing instinct that all female dogs have,…
- Mousse was a Labrador retriever, which is a large enthusiastic bulletproof species of dog made entirely from synthetic materials. This is the kind of dog…
- English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with our son.
- Palestinian and Israeli leaders finally recover the Road Map to Peace, only to discover that, while they were looking for it, the Lug Nuts of…
- 2. The instant the doors open, you want to push forward as hard as possible, in an effort to get onto the train without letting…
- But if I hadn't shoved you off the boat back there,you'd be lost at sea now,wouldn't you? We'd all be lost! So thanks to me…
More Off Quotes
- When a tradition gathers enough strength to go on for centuries, you don't just turn it off one day. — Chinua Achebe
- There are times when a leader must move out ahead of the flock, go off in a new direction, confident that he… — Nelson Mandela
- Some people will go to the opening of an envelope. They live their lives in the public eye and get off on… — Jensen Ackles
- What I respect in people more than anything is work ethic. And Justin Timberlake's got that. He works his tail off, and… — Amy Adams
- Putting on weight is easy all the way through. But after the first couple of weeks, the novelty wears off very quickly,… — Christian Bale
- If the people of New Zealand want to be part of our world, I believe they should hop off their islands, and… — Lewis Black
- Exactly. She does not shine as a wife even in her own account of what occurred. I am not a whole-souled admirer… — Arthur Conan Doyle
- No matter how many times I witness the miracle of someone having their sight restored, I'm still overwhelmed with emotion. When the… — Gabi Hollows