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Last Quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
- Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide', and he told me from now I have to pay in advance.
- My boy is a mean kid. I came home the other day and saw him taping worms to the sidewalk, he sits there and watches…
- Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing happened, so I said to her, 'What's the matter, you can't think of anybody…
- Last week my tie caught on fire, some guy tried to put it out with an axe.
- I feel sorry for short people, you know. When it rains, they're the last to know.
- My golf game is getting real good. Last week, I got through the windmill.
- I live in a tough neighborhood. They got a children's zoo. Last week, four kids escaped.
- I'm at an age where I think more about food than I do about sex. Last week I put a mirror over my dining room…
- What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.
- I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
- I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
- Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.
More Last Quotes
- The defiance of established authority, religious and secular, social and political, as a world-wide phenomenon may well one day be accounted the… — Hannah Arendt
- Thou wilt find rest from vain fancies if thou doest every act in life as though it were thy last. — Aristotle
- Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside… — Lance Armstrong
- Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. — Isaac Asimov
- Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that… — Brooks Atkinson
- When I was doing Bean more than I've done him in the last few years, I did strange things - like appearing… — Rowan Atkinson
- The last four or five hundred years of European contact with Africa produced a body of literature that presented Africa in a… — Chinua Achebe
- Do every act of your life as if it were your last. — Marcus Aurelius
- Be content with what you are, and wish not change; nor dread your last day, nor long for it. — Marcus Aurelius
- And thou wilt give thyself relief, if thou doest every act of thy life as if it were the last. — Marcus Aurelius
- India of the ages is not dead nor has she spoken her last creative word; she lives and has still something to… — Sri Aurobindo
- I'm an independent. I'm a centrist. A new generation is arriving that has grown up with a multiplicity of choice in every… — John Avlon