Know Your Phone Quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

More Quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld has 198 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

• If aliens are watching us through telescopes, they're going to think the dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see…
• We want to do a lot of stuff; we're not in great shape. We didn't get a good night's sleep. We're a…
• I love how you just make coffee and then somehow something gets done.
• I have no plants in my house. They won't live for me. Some of them don't even wait to die, they commit…
• It's like having... you know, your phone has a charger, right? It's like having a charger for your whole body and mind.…
• Maybe if we lie down our brains will work.
• Why is commitment such a big problem for a man? I think that for some reason when a man is driving down…
• Why would anybody want a friend?
• It reminds me of like this pathetic friend that everybody had when they were a little kid who would let you borrow…
• Responsible, who wants to be responsible? Whenever something bad happens, it's always, who's responsible for this?
• Not that there's anything wrong with that.
• Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit…

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