Joke Quotes

1327 Joke quotes by 1003 unique authors

I get a great laugh from artists who ridicule the critics as parasites and artists manqués — sucha horrible joke. I can’t imagine a more… — Manny Farber
The joke is that U2's new record only looked like a virus. Enjoy mining bitcoins for me losers. — Thom Yorke
Death's an old joke, but each individual encounters it anew. — Ivan Turgenev
I often fake my death and then just show up at people's houses. They say 'that's a good one Thom' but I know maybe they… — Thom Yorke
A play is made by sensing how the forces in life simulate ignorance-you set free the concealed irony, the deadly joke. — Arthur Miller
AÂ form of intellectual productiveness, therein lies its peculiar charm. Intellectual productiveness is one of the greatest joys - if not the greatest one -… — Siegbert Tarrasch
Whether people grow fat by joking, or whether there is something in fat itself which predisposes to a joke, I have never been quite able… — Edgar Allan Poe
It was a bit of fun. But of course like anything that starts as a joke, people started to take it all seriously! — Steven Wilson
For the amount of talent I had (and I couldn't dance, act, or tell a joke) I enjoyed a tremendous career. — Perry Como
But you do have to learn, if you want to be a satirist, you can't be part of the party. Meaning, you can't go horseback… — Joan Rivers
"I've learned what's funny verbally ain't so funny on e-mail: They don't hear your intonations. Melissa broke up with somebody over that. She tried to… — Joan Rivers
Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of the sex: "Girls girls, ooo". Naturally you want to look… — Eddie Izzard
The human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us. Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex.… — Billy Connolly
The act of sex, gratifying as it may be, is God's joke on humanity. It is man's last desperate stand at superintendency. — Bette Davis
Comedy mocks the vanity of visions of rational control. The person who can joke amidst a confrontation with evil, like the quick-witted Spider-Man, must be… — Peter Leithart
My goal is to get on the national team. People joke that we'll be able to go to Beijing in 2008, but it's just jokes… — Unknown Author
I am aware that by many persons, it is considered in the nature of a joke to to become a candidate and to be elected… — Samuel Ealy Johnson, Jr.
The insular arrogance of the English character is a commonplace joke. — Goldwin Smith
I often joke with my audiences that I make most of my income on a ski pole. People smile but they get my point. You… — Robin Sharma
The year that Rutherford died (1938 [sic]) there disappeared forever the happy days of free scientific work which gave us such delight in our youth.… — Pyotr Kapitsa
The sad thing is, I was discovering that you almost have to make a joke of being good to strangers. Up and down the country,… — Danny Wallace
Life as such has to be taken as a cosmic joke - and then suddenly you relax because there is nothing to be tense about.… — Rajneesh
I'm still no good at ball-and-stick games. If I go play golf with the guys, it's intended to be a joke. — Neil Peart
Most critics don't realize that a novel like One Hundred Years of Solitude is a bit of a joke, full of signals to close friends;… — Gabriel Garcia Marquez
A joke a day keeps the gloom away! — Cesar Romero

Who Wrote These Joke Quotes

1,003 authors contributed a total of 1,327 Joke Quotes, led by these top contributors: