Joke Quotes

1327 Joke quotes by 1003 unique authors

I still think people do have racial hang-ups, but I think one of the reasons I can joke about it is people are shedding those… — Dave Chappelle
It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it. — Gilbert K. Chesterton
People try to put ownership on things: 'That's mine, that's my joke.' No such thing. Like if you tripped or stumbled and people go, 'Oh,… — Tommy Chong
A joke is a very serious thing. — Winston Churchill
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law? — Dick Clark
I live on a ranch in Texas and do my own thing. And I don't care what anyone has to say about it. My joke… — Kelly Clarkson
When you've been doing comedy for forty years, you really do know most of the jokes. And even if you don't know a specific joke,… — John Cleese
There's a few tunes of mine that don't have jokes, but most of them have a joke and they have a humorous point of view… — Mose Allison
My life has been one great big joke, a dance that's walked a song that's spoke, I laugh so hard I almost choke when I… — Maya Angelou
I never smile when I have a bat in my hands. That's when you've got to be serious. When I get out on the field,… — Hank Aaron
[When] you're dying laughing because your three-year-old made a fart joke, it doesn't matter what else is going on. That's real happiness. — Gwyneth Paltrow
Whenever fortune wishes to joke, she lifts people from what is humble to the highest extremity of affairs. — Juvenal
Some days I feel like everyone in my world has plugged themselves into my kidney. I'm so tired. But when you're having dinner with your… — Gwyneth Paltrow
I need to make an okay living. The people who work for us need to. But after you make a comfortable living, how much more… — Craig Newmark
This is a funny story. We'd asked the guards every day for cappuccino. You know, just as a joke. And they'd come in with their… — Martha Stewart
We're all just a bundle of habits shaped by our memories. And to the extent that we control our lives, we do so by gradually… — Joshua Foer
We don't apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don't get it, then don't watch us. — Joan Rivers
This is a youth-oriented society, and the joke is on them because youth is a disease from which we all recover. — Dorothy Fuldheim
I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it. — Joan Rivers
When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke. — George Carlin
I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it. — Jack Handey
Many people think sports are totally physical, that you don't have to think, everything is done for you and you're catered to, I found that… — Julius Erving
... she, that will with kittens jest, Should bear a kitten's joke. — William Cowper
A rich man's joke is always funny. — Thomas Edward Brown
The joke in our family is that we can cry reading the phone book. — Ronald Reagan

Who Wrote These Joke Quotes

1,003 authors contributed a total of 1,327 Joke Quotes, led by these top contributors: