Joke Quotes

1327 Joke quotes by 1003 unique authors

Think for yourself, and believe in yourself. Keep your skeptical antennae tuned in and in good working order at all times. We are free to… — Dennis McKenna
I love a stupid joke, something that doesn't make any sense. — Chelsea Handler
I still have access to enough money to live on in order to avoid bankruptcy for at least a few years as long as I… — Patrick Stump
Those who do not have power over the story that dominates their lives, power to retell it, to rethink it, deconstruct it, joke about it,… — Salman Rushdie
U.S. soldiers, with whom I now have more than a passing acquaintance, joke that they track my movements in order to know where they will… — Christiane Amanpour
But today, I feel the genuine warmth, the affection, and although I may joke about it, I am touched. — Perry Como
My music has a high irritation factor. I`ve always tried to say something. Eccentric lyrics about eccentric people. Often it was is joke. But I… — Randy Newman
It's a joke. Greed and the desire to take drugs are two separate things. If you want to separate the two, the thing you do… — Jerry Garcia
Modern Christians, especially those in the Western world, have generally been found wanting in the area of holiness of body. Gluttony and laziness, for example,… — Jerry Bridges
I don't play the sport for fame. I don't try to win tournaments for fame. I don't do any of that. It's just me. I'm… — Bubba Watson
The why is what makes journalism an adult game. The why is what makes policy coherent and useful. The why is what transforms bureaucrats and… — David Simon
The moment you think of a joke is the best moment. — Judd Apatow
There has to be irony, both in design and in the objects. I see around me a professional disease of taking everything too seriously. One… — Achille Castiglioni
One of my secrets is to joke all the time. — Achille Castiglioni
That name was a kind of joke, and not a very good one. An author, Leon Lederman, wanted to call it 'that goddamn particle' because… — Peter Higgs
Too many lives go up in smoke - It's nice to laugh but don't be the joke. — Janet Jackson
Well had the boding tremblers learn'd to trace The day's disasters in his morning face; Full well they laugh'd with counterfeited glee At all his… — Oliver Goldsmith
A beautiful problem is no joke! — Unknown Author
The amount of energy spent laughing at a joke should be directly proportional to the hierarchical status of the joke teller. — Scott Adams
Pardew has come out and criticized me. He is the worst at haranguing referees. He shoves them and makes a joke of it. How he… — Alex Ferguson
When I played Lady Day, I took Aba onstage with me as a joke. He started singing-in tune!-and the audience loved it. — Eartha Kitt
Desegregation is a joke. — Nina Simone
There is a joke that your hammer will always find nails to hit. I find that perfectly acceptable — Benoit Mandelbrot
We are not engaged in a complicated joke disguised as a religion. We are engaged in a religion disguised as a complicated joke. — Malaclypse the Younger
Tonally, there was no discussion; I just don’t know any other way to do it. I don’t want to make people feel bad, and I… — John Hodgman

Who Wrote These Joke Quotes

1,003 authors contributed a total of 1,327 Joke Quotes, led by these top contributors: