Joke Quotes

1327 Joke quotes by 1003 unique authors

Years ago I was a runway model, and I used to get laughs. I thought it was a joke anyway — Nora Dunn
In fact, it used to be a joke if you studied at a University — Tony Randall
It devastates me now that I have been reduced to a Hollywood statistic - another joke marriage. — Sophia Bush
As a woman, I know you're young but you gotta hear it now,the most valuable part about you is your brain. Get an education,don't let… — Sophia Bush
Irony ruined everything Even the best exploitation movies were never meant to be `so bad they were good`. They were not made for the intelligentsia.… — John Waters
I used to joke that I was trying to sell out, and nobody would buy me. — John Waters
We need somebody to put rat poisoning in Justice Stevens' creme brulee. That's just a joke, for you in the media. — Ann Coulter
I dont want to sound gloomy, but, at some point of your lives, every one of you will notice that you have in your life… — Christopher Lee
People always ask me about my makeout scenes with him [Tyler Posey]. We joke around a lot and are like, ‘Oh, that was a sloppy… — Crystal Reed
Sir Joh Bjelke-Petersen has been the Queensland premier the whole time we've been in Australia, and the state is a national joke for having a… — Unknown Author
Just because something makes you smile or laugh ... doesn't mean it's a joke. — David Rees
We suppose that could be considered a hedged position for the awards committee, one that would never occur in the hard sciences such as physics… — Seth Klarman
I lived that life for real, so to talk about it was like a joke, you know what I mean? — Tone-Loc
It just seems like right now we’re in a place where people are being witch-hunted for expressing an opinion. Even if it’s a lousy opinion… — Jim Norton
A rumor that followed me forever was that my family was in the mafia. For years I had to live with it. They'd call me… — Giuliana Rancic
You know what they're doing to your Constitution? They're making a joke out of your Constitution. Love's not in your court room. And God is… — Charles Manson
I think of a piece, and then people who are competent fabricate it. But lately I've started finger painting, which probably should be a joke… — Jenny Holzer
Have you ever lived in the suburbs? It's sterile. It's nothing. It's wasting your life, and people do not wish to waste their lives once… — Ed Koch
A nickname may be the best record of a success. That's what I call putting the face of a joke upon the body of a… — Joseph Conrad
The intention which is fixed on God as its only end will keep people steady in their purposes, and deliver them from being the joke… — Thomas a Kempis
I never knew what basketball was. I started playing on the playground. People used to laugh at me and joke at me because I was… — Patrick Ewing
The real joke that history played on American women is not the one that makes people snigger, with cheap Freudian sophistication, at the dead feminists.… — Betty Friedan
What people who don't write don't understand is that they think you make up the line consciously — but you don't. It proceeds from your unconscious. So… — Woody Allen
It is a good deed to forget a poor joke — Brendan Behan
Cartooning is about deconstruction: you gotta tear something down to make a joke. — Berkeley Breathed

Who Wrote These Joke Quotes

1,003 authors contributed a total of 1,327 Joke Quotes, led by these top contributors: