Joke Quotes

1327 Joke quotes by 1003 unique authors

My life is a joke.... I'm only here for your amusement.... You'll never see the pain I feel or the tears I cry.... But anyways....… — Storm Shadowheart
It's so funny when your at the office party and you crack a joke and your laughing at yourself because you created an awkward silence. — Daryn
My favorite comedy is self-effacing, where the person doing the joke is the butt of it. That's always been the stuff I've gravitated toward. And… — Andy Samberg
I was gunna make a gay joke, but f*ck it. — Brandon
I think Lady GaGa, as an artist you know, she's undeniable. That was one of them things where sometimes I get a joke in my… — Eminem
In the beginning I had a bunch of Thor comics, and someone would give me a Thor doll as a joke, and a hammer, and… — Chris Hemsworth
Its crazy because people expect you to be funny all the time and every day is not a funny day. I go to funerals and… — Chris Tucker
The awkward momment when you tell a joke and no one laughs lol — MoCHY
Every time I'm on the red carpet and they ask,'Who's the mother going to be? I always say Hillary Clinton as a joke. I got… — Jason Segel
LOVE is the ONLY thing that describes EVERYTHING in the world, sometimes affectionate sometimes pain sometimes a toy sometimes a joke sometimes a tear and… — Beenu
Skid rizzie ain't no joke. — Big Black
The fact that gay marriage isnt legal everywhere at this point is a joke. But there are things now that you never thought would have… — Adam Levine
Treat me like a joke and I'll leave you like it's funny, oh wait, I did x) — Rachel
I would like to apologize, especially to the two daughters involved, Bristol and Willow, and also to the Governor and her family and everybody else… — David Letterman
Last week I did a thing on the Grammys with a Top 10 list. There was a Lindsay Lohan joke about her stealing a Grammy… — David Letterman
It's nice to recall our mistakes in the past. Joke about real life, punch lines, and laugh about our dumb old selves. Because remembering how… — Pacifiersucker
My dreams are a cruel joke. They taunt me. Even in my dreams I'm an idiot... who knows he's about to wake up to reality.… — Unknown Author
Fake friends are like actors, they will laugh and joke with you til they hear cut and then later they will talk about you behind… — Rasheed Bryant
What keeps me grounded is my friends and family and being able to joke around and have a sense of humor. They laugh at me… — Leonardo DiCaprio
If you're not going to give a smile, you can not, some lukewarm, if it is not possible to hear a joke! Said:You also can… — Mak_786
Men and women, getting along, it's a joke. We have completely different brains, it's a completely different thing. — Christina Applegate
What a nice joke on the back of the arms to the promise of peace — Mak_786
It was in the back of a hamburger joint in Times Square. I did a joke about not wanting to sleep on a girl's futon… — Zach Galifianakis
When your time is good, your mistakes are taken as a joke. But, when your time is bad even your jokes are noticed as mistakes. — Pacifiersucker
I can't seem to filter myself ever. I used to say when I first started, the unspoken rule was 'no cancer, no AIDS.' But then… — Kathy Griffin

Who Wrote These Joke Quotes

1,003 authors contributed a total of 1,327 Joke Quotes, led by these top contributors: