Joke Quotes

1327 Joke quotes by 1003 unique authors

The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet. — Oliver Herford
Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke. — Hermann Hesse
The fact that the Kardashians could be more popular than a show like 'Mad Men' is disgusting. It's a super disgusting part of our culture,… — Jonah Hill
My biggest superhero of writing is Jorge Luis Borges, the Argentine fabulist. He's an amazingly perceptive writer, but also willing to make a joke. — John Hodgman
I laugh and joke, but I don't get distracted very easily. — LeBron James
Back in the day, if someone said that hip hop and rap was a fad, that was a joke to me because they just didn't… — Jam Master Jay
A joke is a way to say, 'I'm going to do something funny now. If I don't get a laugh at the end, I'm a… — Penn Jillette
I've never revved my car at a light for an attractive woman or an auto-rival, not even as a joke. — Penn Jillette
I used to forget that I was an Indian woman. I would even forget that I was a woman. I don't think of myself as… — Mindy Kaling
The Soviet Union represents a threat in terms of might. It is a joke in terms of its economy and what it has to offer… — Jack Kemp
That's the great thing about New Year's, you get to be a year older. For me, that wasn't such a joke, because my birthday was… — Alan King
Being funny is one of my greatest strengths. I can make girls smile when they're down, and when they're having a good time, I can… — John Krasinski
There used to be a cruel joke that said Brazil is the country of the future, and always will be; Obama is the Brazil of… — Charles Krauthammer
I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke. — Artie Lange
You've really got to start hitting the books because it's no joke out here. — Harper Lee
A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents. — Georg C. Lichtenberg
I always joke about letting the haters motivate you. Everybody has that in their life, people who doubt them or make them feel less than… — Jennifer Lopez
The world is indeed comic, but the joke is on mankind. — H P Lovecraft
When we're on set, we kind of joke around, and when we're rehearsing, we change up the scenes and make each other laugh. We lighten… — Kellan Lutz
I'm looking for laughs, you know? If it take me to flip over a table, if I have to go physical comedy, I will do… — Bernie Mac

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1,003 authors contributed a total of 1,327 Joke Quotes, led by these top contributors: