Joke Quotes

1327 Joke quotes by 1003 unique authors

Everyone has sadness-I just get mine out in my music so that I can laugh and joke and flirt with you! — Sam Smith
I'm very wary of doing political stuff for a lot of reasons. One of the big ones is that the shelf-life for them is not… — Tim Heidecker
Anarcho-capitalism, in my opinion, is a doctrinal system which, if ever implemented, would lead to forms of tyranny and oppression that have few counterparts in… — Noam Chomsky
I stumbled on a joke idea and style that worked, the audience went with it and, from that moment on, I was hooked. It's an… — Marcus Brigstocke
What I don't like today is, to put it coarsely, the phony Hasidism, the phony mysticism. Many students say, "Teach me mysticism." It's a joke. — Elie Wiesel
In France everything is a matter for jest. People make quips about the scaffold, about Napoleon's defeat on the banks of The Beresina, and about… — Honore de Balzac
Christianity seems at first to be all about morality, all about duties and rules and guilt and virtue, yet it leads you on, out of… — C.S. Lewis
Because, as we are toldâ€”a sad old joke, tooâ€” Ghosts, like the ladies, never speak till spoke to. — Bill Vaughan
The idea of beetles came into my head. I decided to spell it BEATles to make it look like beat music, just a joke. — John Lennon
Once you've heard the joke, it's not funny anymore, but it's the way it's told. And I think that's the same with the music: The… — Tom Lehrer
Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me. — Robert Frost
The only people who live in a post-black world are four people who live in a little white house on Pennsylvania Avenue. The idea that… — Henry Louis Gates
It would be a bitter cosmic joke if we destroy ourselves due to atrophy of the imagination. — Martha Gellhorn
People confuse the subject of the joke with the target of the joke, and they're very rarely the same. — Ricky Gervais
Be not affronted at a joke. If one throw salt at thee, thou wilt receive no harm, unless thou art raw. — Oliver Goldsmith
There are certain things I don't want to joke about. If it's about somebody else, it's fine. If it's about me, I think it's totally… — Gilbert Gottfried
Advice is sometimes transmitted more successfully through a joke than grave teaching. — Baltasar Gracian
Everybody doesn't have to get every joke. People really appreciate not being condescended to. — Matt Groening
A caricature is putting the face of a joke on the body of a truth. — Joseph Conrad
Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke. — Dane Cook

Who Wrote These Joke Quotes

1,003 authors contributed a total of 1,327 Joke Quotes, led by these top contributors: