Joke Quotes

1327 Joke quotes by 1003 unique authors

What are you grinning at?" Katsa demanded for the third or fourth time. "Is the ceiling about to cave in on my head or something?… — Kristin Cashore
His brothers could tease him about his height or the number of scars he was collecting on his body. He could take the joke when… — Shannon Hale
Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense. — Alan Moore
We don't want to lose you Lord Rahl. We don't want to go back to way things were." She sounded on the verge of tears.… — Terry Goodkind
Just how many sisters do you have? (Valerius) Eight. (Tabitha) Eight? (Valerius) What? (Tabitha) I'm just pitying whatever poor males lived in that house with… — Sherrilyn Kenyon
Is everything a joke to you?” I asked. He dabbed his tongue to his lip again. “Not everything.” “Like what?” “You. — Becca Fitzpatrick
[Bobby Tom] finally understood Gracie's function in his life. She was God's joke on him. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips
Whereupon a strange euphoria came over me. Not only was I exiled, paralyzed, mute, half deaf, deprived of all pleasures, and reduced to the existence… — Jean-Dominique Bauby
The future of this nation, with the present generation, You must admit is nothing but a joke — Ira Gershwin
An old joke has an Oxford professor meeting an American former graduate student and asking him what he's working on these days. 'My thesis is… — Christopher Hitchens
Which weakness shall I tell her? “I walk funny,” I say, and she’s satisfied with that. (inside joke) — Mary E. Pearson
Would like to join me? (Astrid) I think I’d look strange in a bikini. (Zarek) Was that a joke? Can it be you made a… — Sherrilyn Kenyon
My friends joke that I’m dead until I get onstage. I’m dead right now as you’re speaking to me. — Lady Gaga
I have never been able to understand the complaint that a story is "depressing" because of its subject matter. What depresses me are stories that… — Tobias Wolff
What’ cha doing out here all alone? Did you forget how to find Sanctuary? (Simi) No. I want to be alone for a bit. (Gallagher)… — Sherrilyn Kenyon
Take care, Jeffy. I’ll see you soon, right? Just remember not to throw food at the nurses. I don’t want to get any complaint calls,… — Jordan Sonnenblick
But while I'd be their daughter, while I'd eat the roast and come home from dates and wash the dishes, I would also be myself.… — Judy Blundell
My kind [vampires] does not surprise easily," he said. "You surprised me, this morning. I have thus used up my full quota of shock and… — Robin McKinley
I can’t be sure, of course, but I’d compare it to living on tofu and soy milk; we call ourselves vegetarians, our little inside joke.… — Stephenie Meyer
Oh, something is there, waiting for me. Perhaps someday the revelation will burst in upon me and I will see the other side of this… — Sylvia Plath
A true Englishman doesn't joke when he is talking about so serious a thing as a wager. — Jules Verne
As the joke goes, you don’t have to be faster than the wolf chasing you, just faster than everyone else running away. — Kim Harrison
I don't really like jokes in a way. I mean gags are fine but I like weird moments where what you have isn't really a… — Noel Fielding
Strict seriousness was far more dangerous than any joke. — Saul Bellow
Leo: "So...giants who can throw mountains. Friendly wolves that will eat us if we show weakness. Evil espresso drinks. Gotcha. Maybe this isn't the best… — Rick Riordan

Who Wrote These Joke Quotes

1,003 authors contributed a total of 1,327 Joke Quotes, led by these top contributors: