Joke Quotes

1327 Joke quotes by 1003 unique authors

It is a great rush to come up with a joke that gets a good response from the audience. It's gold! — Kevin Nealon
You know when Jerry Ford gets the best joke, you know you're in trouble. — Mark Russell
I always joke that I'm a British actress trying to break into Scandinavian TV. — MyAnna Buring
The simile has to match the tone of its surroundings and has to be like a little joke. Writing a simile that isn't funny on… — Ned Beauman
30 Rock' is probably one of my favorite shows. It's just joke after joke after joke. — Alison Brie
It would be really hard to get serious about anything political today unless it was a joke. — Carla Bley
Science fiction has its own history, its own legacy of what's been done, what's been superseded, what's so much part of the furniture it's practically… — Iain Banks
I was raised in a family where no one had a serious bone in their body and every answer was a riddle, a joke, or… — James Brolin
Almost every venerable tradition at a men's club starts out as a joke. — Joe Bob Briggs
We joke about it in the entertainment industry: Every actor wants to be a musician, and every musician wants to be an actor. — Lance Bass
I will do almost anything for the sake of a joke or for the sake of someone's real belief in something to help tell a… — Selma Blair
I mean, I've had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error… — Todd Barry
My friends joke that I raised the Titanic and never left the Rockies. — Clive Cussler
Describing comic sensibility is near impossible. It's sort of an abstract silliness, that sometimes the joke isn't the star. — Dana Carvey
I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes. I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who… — Dave Attell
Guys will definitely settle for women who get the joke. But a woman who can make you laugh? It's not high on a guy's must… — Hank Azaria
I joke that my niche in Hollywood has been naked foreigners. — Hank Azaria
Barack Obama is like the old joke about boats. The two best days of owning a boat are the day you buy it and the… — Howie Carr
You go, well you can't joke about race. Well if you're from a different race and that's your experience of the world and you want… — Jimmy Carr
There's things that I couldn't joke about but other people could. — Jimmy Carr
Being raised Catholic myself, I think people who are Catholic tend to carry a lot of guilt. It's almost a joke. — Linda Cardellini
I do a lot of public speaking and presentations and I'll always start with a self-deprecating joke to make everybody feel comfortable with my size… — Warwick Davis
The Texas Commission on Environmental Quality - what a joke. In my district, we caught them lying to us about the results of air quality… — Wendy Davis
Completely committed to adapting 'Fifty Shades of Grey'. This is not a joke. Christian Grey and Ana: potentially great cinematic characters. — Bret Easton Ellis
We need to get rid of the Federal Elections Commission. It's a joke. It doesn't enforce the law. — Russ Feingold

Who Wrote These Joke Quotes

1,003 authors contributed a total of 1,327 Joke Quotes, led by these top contributors: