Joke Quotes

1327 Joke quotes by 1003 unique authors

Cigarettes are an instant signifier in culture. It punctuates a joke, or puts that extra zing on a punch line. I like them as a… — Martha Plimpton
I don't really know what is shocking. When you tell the story of a man who is beheaded, you have to show how they cut… — Roman Polanski
Gentle dullness ever loves a joke. — Alexander Pope
I think when people mean that Discworld books have become darker they really mean the series is growing up. In 'The Colour of Magic' most… — Terry Pratchett
I used to joke I was a point-and-click actor. My whole process has been about trusting your instincts and hitting your mark. — Daniel Radcliffe
I'd like to think I'd never do a gratuitous fart joke. — Harold Ramis
I love doing six versions of any joke, so if they'll give me six takes, I'd love to do it. — Ryan Reynolds
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. — Will Rogers
There's a joke in economics about the drunk who loses his keys in the street but only looks for them under the lightposts. When asked… — Christina Romer
Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn't offend somebody it's probably not a joke. It's probably an observation that's not… — Jeff Ross
A comedy can actually get funnier and funnier. Even though you know the joke, you enjoy it so much, it's the facial expression, you laugh.… — Eli Roth
Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke? — Rita Rudner
If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good. — Rita Rudner
I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling. — Rita Rudner
If you work at comedy too laboriously, you can kill what's funny in the joke. — Richard Russo
The more moral the people are in their business dealings, the less paperwork you need, the more handshakes you can have, the more the wheels… — Rick Santorum
First of all, Saddam did not win the war, even though he says he did, I mean, you know, that's a joke and everybody in… — Norman Schwarzkopf
I was saying as a joke the other day that I love film editing, I know how to cut a picture, I think I know… — Martin Scorsese
I've been keeping a diary for thirty-three years and write in it every morning. Most of it's just whining, but every so often there'll be… — David Sedaris
I do things, and other people laugh at them. I rarely know what the joke is supposed to be or why they're laughing. — Wallace Shawn

Who Wrote These Joke Quotes

1,003 authors contributed a total of 1,327 Joke Quotes, led by these top contributors: