« All I Told Quotes · Rodney Dangerfield's Page
I Told Quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
- I told my doctor I wonna stop aging, he gave me a gun!
- Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide', and he told me from now I have to pay in advance.
- I told my kids, "Someday, you'll have kids of your own." One of them said, "So will you."
- My boy is a mean kid. I came home the other day and saw him taping worms to the sidewalk, he sits there and watches…
- I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.
- I told my doctor, "I've swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills" and he told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.
- I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
- I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
- I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a…
- What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
- I told my wife 'hey honey come on, let's make love like the old days.' She asked me for 50 bucks.
- My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him .... If you don't mind I'd like a second opinion. He said .... Alright.... you're…
- I told my psychiatrist everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous; everyone hasn't met me yet
More I Told Quotes
- (On seeing a former lover for the first time in years) I thought I told you to wait in the car. — Tallulah Bankhead
- I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and I feel they should all worship me.… — Roseanne Barr
- I always wanted to be a rock star. That was my childhood dream. That's what I told everybody I was going to… — Chester Bennington
- I was angry with my friend: I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe: I told… — William Blake
- You can hate me. You can go out there and say anything you want about me, But you will love me later… — Mary J. Blige
- When Brian told me he grew up in New Mexico, I told him I thought it is cool that people from other… — Terry Bradshaw
- Leroy bet me I couldn't find a pot of gold at the end, and I told him that was a stupid bet… — Rita Mae Brown
- If I told you all the people that have secretly told me I've influenced them, you'd never believe it, and you'll never… — Dave Brubeck
- I used to save all my rejection slips because I told myself, one day I'm going to autograph these and auction them.… — James Lee Burke
- I told you I'm not going to criticize my successor. I'll just tell you that there are people at Gitmo that will… — George W. Bush
- I never saw my dad cry. My son saw me cry. My dad never told me he loved me, and consequently I… — James Caan
- Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't… — Tim Allen