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Getting Quotes by Jack Handey
- If God dwells inside us, like some people say, I sure hope He like enchiladas, because that's what He's getting!
- One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him…
- I think a cute movie idea would be about a parrot who is raised by eagles. It would be cute because the parrot can't seem…
- If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don't think I'd call it Trampo-Land, because you might think it was a store for tramps, which…
- You know what would be the most terrifying thing that could ever happen to a flea? Getting caught inside a watch somehow. You don't even…
- I can still recall old Mister Barnslow getting out every morning and nailing a fresh load of tadpoles to the old board of his. Then…
More Getting Quotes
- The beginning of reform is not so much to equalize property as to train the noble sort of natures not to desire… — Aristotle
- Getting over someone is a grieving process. You mourn the loss of the relationship, and that's only expedited by 'Out of sight,… — Hank Azaria
- Two things scare me. The first is getting hurt. But that's not nearly as scary as the second, which is losing. — Lance Armstrong
- It's tough to be a 15- or 16-year-old athlete competing around the country. There's tension, there's media. I had no idea what… — Lance Armstrong
- That's a problem. I mean, like any sort of growing startup organization, we are sort of overwhelmed by our growth. And that… — Julian Assange
- Getting to places like Bangkok or Singapore was a hell of a sweat. But when you got there it was the back… — David Attenborough
- In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty percent of publicity. — Lauren Bacall
- Having been a head of state gives you the possibility of getting into places others can't go. — Michelle Bachelet