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Funny Valentines Day Quotes by Stephen Colbert
1 Funny Valentines Day quote by Stephen Colbert
More Quotes by Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert has 324 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:
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Look, PETA! If God hadn't wanted us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them so darn tasty!
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Even the weather page is in a state of moral decay. What?s wrong with red, white and blue, USA Today? This rainbow…
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Make no mistake - they're coming for our guns. And we freedom-loving gun lovers are totally defenseless! Other than, you know, the…
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Nothing reassures parents more than surrounding their kids with the kind of guys who have a lot of weapons and nothing to…
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Yes, Dr. King is pro-gun just as surely as Jesus would be pro-nails.
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If it's called the USA Today, why is all the news from yesterday?
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I welcome opposing viewpoints, but I should warn you that you'll be facing off against the 2nd-place finisher at the 1981 Charleston…
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Al Gore has a hit movie called 'An Inconvenient Truth.' I have an inconvenient truth for him: you're still not the president.…
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First, [in high school], I smoked a lot of pot...and that's how I got to know the people 'half in' the society…
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If Jesus doesn't have a sense of humor, I am in huge trouble.
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I must confess that I've never trusted the Web. I've always seen it as a coward's tool. Where does it live? How…
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Young girls are obsessed with having a thigh gap. I blame the impossible body standards set by Spongebob.
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More Funny Valentines Day Quotes
Popular Funny Valentines Day quotes from across the collection:
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When you're in love you never really know whether your elation comes from the qualities of the one you love, or if…
— Natalie Clifford Barney
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A man is only as good as what he loves.
— Saul Bellow
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A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years.
— Rupert Brooke
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Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.
— Lord Byron
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Oh here's an idea: let's make pictures of our internal organs and give them to other people we love on Valentine's Day.…
— Jimmy Fallon
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Ever have that one friend who gets a Valentine's Day gift for their mother? Doens't that freak you out a little? It's…
— Unknown Author
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The jewelry stores say, 'Tell your wife you love her with a diamond,' while wives tell you they love you with, 'Ok,…
— George Lopez
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I love Valentine's Day. When you're a kid everyone gets a Valentine. It's like 'TO TIM, NICE PANTS, LOVE SCOTT'. It's Valentines…
— Mike Birbiglia
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Today, folks, should be all about love. Unless you're old.
— Stephen Colbert
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Love is just a chocolate substitute.
— Melanie Clark Pullen
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Basement smells bad. Look for cat poops, change litter.
— Martha Stewart
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Sex, unlike justice, should not be seen to be done.
— Unknown Author
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