« All Funny Facebook Status Quotes · Ted's Page
Funny Facebook Status Quotes by Ted
- Ted is keeping it real.
- My middle finger gets a boner whenever I think of you.
- Im literally my own best friend. I have inside jokes with myself, sometimes Ill start laughing out loud at how funny I am.
- When somebody says f-ck my life... I say life may f-ck you and walkway
- Sometimes one middle finger isn't enough to let someone know how you feel. That's why you have two hands.
More Funny Facebook Status Quotes
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
- If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving be me. — Wystan Hugh Auden
- Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you. — Joey Adams
- You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. — Dave Barry
- Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. — Dave Barry
- Your own mind is a sacred enclosure into which nothing harmful can enter except by your permission. — Arnold Bennett
- Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well. — Josh Billings
- All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is… — Erma Bombeck
- Who so loves believes the impossible. — Elizabeth Barrett Browning
- It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. — George Burns
- A man is known by the company his mind keeps. — Thomas Bailey Aldrich
- Weather forecast for tonight: dark. — George Carlin