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Funny Quotes by Ogden Nash
- If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.
- Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
- My garden will never make me famous, I'm a horticultural ignoramus.
- Your hair may be brushed, but your mind's untidy. You've had about seven hours of sleep since Friday. No wonder you feel that lost sensation.…
- Women would rather be right than reasonable.
- People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they don't want it.
- Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
- Certainly there are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny- Have you ever tried to buy them without money?
- Middle age ends and senescence begins, the day your descendant's outnumber your friends.
- A bit of talcum Is always walcum.
- A lady wants to be dressed exactly like everybody else but she gets pretty up- set if she sees anybody else dressed exactly like her.
- If called by a panther, don't anther.
- Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.
- The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.
- There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.
- Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buying then without money?
- Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
- Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
More Funny Quotes
- To be free in an age like ours, one must be in a position of authority. That in itself would be enough… — Hannah Arendt
- These are the fifties, you know. The disgusting, posturing fifties. — Hannah Arendt
- I'm literally open to any medium that will have me. — J. J. Abrams
- We must all make peace so that we can all live in peace. — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
- There is no great genius without a mixture of madness. — Aristotle
- I hope to make movies that are so small they don't need to make anything to be profitable. — J. J. Abrams
- I love recording music. — J. J. Abrams
- Hope is the dream of a waking man. — Aristotle
- Education is the best provision for old age. — Aristotle
- I've had the same friends since I was in kindergarten. — J. J. Abrams
- I also have this incredible love for women. — Kevyn Aucoin