Ogden Nash Quotes

174 quotes in 1690 categories

• Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?
• If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.
• God in His wisdom made the fly And then forgot to tell us why.
• Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you.
• Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
• A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.
• Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
• Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
• Never befriend the oppressed unless you are prepared to take on the oppressor.
• The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every…
• Ten years ago she split the air To seize what she could spy Tonight she bumps against a chair, Betrayed by milky eye. She seems…
• Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes, the wind will presently disappear, the taxes last us all the…
• The trouble with a kitten is that it eventually beomes a cat.
• When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.
• I'd rather be a great bad poet than a good bad poet.
• And one of his partners asked Has he vertigo? and the other glanced out and down and said Oh no, only about ten feet more.
• The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.
• My garden will never make me famous, I'm a horticultural ignoramus.
• Every new year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?
• I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.

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