« All Funny Quotes · Garrison Keillor's Page
Funny Quotes by Garrison Keillor
- There is almost no marital problem that can't be helped enormously by taking off your clothes.
- It is more worthy in the eyes of God . . . if a writer makes three pages sharp and funny about the lives of…
- Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.
- Humor has to surprise us; otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not…
- A cruise ship is a floating town of lazy people.
- A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
- God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
- A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table - There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to…
- The funniest line in English is 'Get it?' When you say that, everyone chortles.
- Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- I've seen the truth, and it makes no sense.
More Funny Quotes
- To be free in an age like ours, one must be in a position of authority. That in itself would be enough… — Hannah Arendt
- These are the fifties, you know. The disgusting, posturing fifties. — Hannah Arendt
- I'm literally open to any medium that will have me. — J. J. Abrams
- We must all make peace so that we can all live in peace. — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
- There is no great genius without a mixture of madness. — Aristotle
- I hope to make movies that are so small they don't need to make anything to be profitable. — J. J. Abrams
- I love recording music. — J. J. Abrams
- Hope is the dream of a waking man. — Aristotle
- Education is the best provision for old age. — Aristotle
- I've had the same friends since I was in kindergarten. — J. J. Abrams
- I also have this incredible love for women. — Kevyn Aucoin