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Funny Quotes by Craig Ferguson
- This book could scare them. The sex, the violence, the dream sequences and the iconoclasm - I think a lot of people are uncomfortable with…
- That's here on CBS, where the 'C' stands for 'Classy' and the 'BS' speaks for itself.
- Great, as long as you're happy
- When I stopped drinking, it was only because I thought if I don't stop, I'm going to die.
- I don't know now if I'm funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something that's funny.
- I realized women and humor were linked very closely.
- I don't get emails from my corporate overlords.
- I've started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a Scottish postman.
- I love zombies. If any monster could Riverdance, it would be zombies.
- Anyone who's just driven 90 yards against huge men trying to kill them has earned the right to do Jazz hands.
- Everything I think of now is too rude to actually say.
- 114 isn't as old as it used to be they say its the new 104.
- By the power of Steven Wright's Beard!
- Oh Satan you're a wily one.
More Funny Quotes
- To be free in an age like ours, one must be in a position of authority. That in itself would be enough… — Hannah Arendt
- These are the fifties, you know. The disgusting, posturing fifties. — Hannah Arendt
- I'm literally open to any medium that will have me. — J. J. Abrams
- We must all make peace so that we can all live in peace. — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
- There is no great genius without a mixture of madness. — Aristotle
- I hope to make movies that are so small they don't need to make anything to be profitable. — J. J. Abrams
- I love recording music. — J. J. Abrams
- Hope is the dream of a waking man. — Aristotle
- Education is the best provision for old age. — Aristotle
- I've had the same friends since I was in kindergarten. — J. J. Abrams
- I also have this incredible love for women. — Kevyn Aucoin