"I haven't had a drink in thirteen years,……" — Craig Ferguson
"I haven't had a drink in thirteen years, but occasionally I'm tempted to have one beer. The problem is that if I have that one beer, I wake up in Tijuana four days later with a tattoo and a sore ass"
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Craig Ferguson
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182 Quotes by Craig Ferguson
Craig Ferguson has 182 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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You should never protest outside a rich guy's home during the day because he's not there. He's at work grinding…
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For me, comedy should have a certain amount of joy in it. It should be about attacking the powerful -…
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Fat is where comedy is stored,
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I think that clearly it has an influence, to be coming of age during the punk rock era, to come…
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My mother was tickled and I think kind of proud when my father got hit on my an attractive middle-aged…
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Twas the night before Thanksgiving.
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They were singing, Gillette, the best a man can get, with a lot of guys hugging their fathers and sailing…
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These days, teachers have it rough. Kids can be hyperactive, disobedient, and obnoxious. It must feel like being locked in…
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The Universe is very, very big.
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You know, your whole life you're concerned about money for this and that. And then you don't have to worry…
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A new survey says one in three adults will be dressing up for Halloween. As for me, I'm not going…
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President Obama announced his re-election campaign, though it’s not really a surprise. He did all the things that make it…
See all 182 quotes by Craig Ferguson »
More Ass Quotes
This quote is filed under Ass Quotes,
one of 2,172 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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Most chick singers say 'if you hurt me, I'll die'... I say, 'if you hurt me, I'll kick your ass.'
— Pat Benatar
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I get satisfaction of three kinds. One is creating something, one is being paid for it and one is the…
— William F. Buckley, Jr.
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A man that hoards up riches and enjoys them not, is like an ass that carries gold and eats thistles.
— Richard Burton
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If it's illegal to rock and roll, throw my ass in jail!
— Kurt Cobain
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I almost resent the whole fashion thing. Good God- never wearing the same thing twice and all of those things.…
— Jennifer Aniston
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When I die, bury me on my stomach and let the world kiss my ass.
— LL Cool J
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I felt like I was definitely robbed, and I refuse to give any politically correct bullshit ass comment. I was…
— Kanye West
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The biggest sin is sitting on your ass.
— Florynce Kennedy
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Life's hard. It's even harder when you're stupid.
— John Wayne
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Life is never easy for those who dream.
— Robert James Waller
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We view ourselves on the eve of battle. We are nerved for the contest, and must conquer or perish. It…
— Sam Houston
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I hope you're all Republicans.
— Ronald Reagan
See all 2,172 Ass Quotes »