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From Quotes by Jay Leno
- Corporations complained about [safety] regulations, but let's face it, people walk away from accidents now that would have killed them when I was a kid
- If there isn't a parking space out front or I can't see my car from the window, we're eating somewhere else.
- Today, you get better performance from a Ford Focus than a Ferrari from the mid-70s. [The Focus] is just as fast and with better fuel…
- Fox News has changed its slogan from 'Fair and Balanced' to 'See, I told you so!'
- The hot gossip in Washington is that Condoleezza Rice might have a new boyfriend. Secretary of State Rice is being linked to Canada's Foreign Minister,…
- Over 6 million people were evacuated from New Jersey ahead of the hurricane. And now, three of them have gone back.
- Clinton's pet Labrador, Buddy, is getting neutered. The dog will never have sex again. Overnight, they've turned Buddy from a Democrat into a Republican.
- Saddam Hussein has raised the amount going to suicide bombers from $10 thousand dollars to $25 thousand. What's next, a health care plan?
- The IRS said today anyone with a refund coming from their 2001 taxes will lose it if they don't pick it up by April 15th.…
- President Obama signed a bill preventing members of Congress from profiting from insider trading. Didn't you think that was already illegal?
- In an interview with Univision, President Obama said if there's one thing he's learned, it's that you can't change Washington from within. So what is…
- With the presidential debates right around the corner, John Kerry is going to play Mitt Romney to help the President prepare for the debates. That's…
- A man in Florida has been arrested for wearing a President Obama mask while robbing a McDonald's. To show you how good this guy's disguise…
- A team of British lawyers has now concluded that the Declaration of Independence was illegal, and the American colonies had no right to secede from…
- Facebook has revealed their estimated net worth - $96 billion. That's almost as much money as businesses lose every year from their employees wasting time…
- Scientists say they have developed a car that can run on water. The only catch is, the water has to come from the Gulf of…
- Saddam Hussein has invited members from the U.S. Congress to visit Iraq. Man how stupid is Hussein? If you think Bush had incentive to bomb…
- There is a penalty for trying to knock down a cockpit door, but it's the people who try to go from coach to 1st class…
- The Washington Bullets are changing their name. They don't want their team to be associated with crime. From now on, they'll just be known as…
- Now, today is the day we honor, of course, the Presidents, ranging from George Washington, who couldn't tell a lie, to George Bush, who couldn't…
- With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat…
- It is said that life begins when the fetus can exist apart from its mother. By this definition, many people in Hollywood are legally dead.
- President Bush is taking the entire month of August off. Bush said today he thinks it is important for a president to spend time away…
More From Quotes
- Total loyalty is possible only when fidelity is emptied of all concrete content, from which changes of mind might naturally arise. — Hannah Arendt
- By its very nature the beautiful is isolated from everything else. From beauty no road leads to reality. — Hannah Arendt
- No cause is left but the most ancient of all, the one, in fact, that from the beginning of our history has… — Hannah Arendt
- Man cannot be free if he does not know that he is subject to necessity, because his freedom is always won in… — Hannah Arendt
- Aside from a handful of guys boxing is missing the good trainers, that's why our sport is so in the air now… — Alexis Arguello
- From heresy, frenzy and jealousy, good Lord deliver me. — Ludovico Ariosto
- As far as we are concerned, we are ready to leave today, tomorrow, at any time, to join the people of Haiti,… — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- Haiti, Haiti, the further I am from you, the less I breathe. Haiti, I love you, and I will love you always.… — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- In 1994, when I went back to Haiti from exile, we established a Commission for Truth and Justice and Reconciliation. I passed… — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- Sometimes people who want to understand Haiti from a political perspective may be missing part of the picture. They also need to… — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- Men of sense often learn from their enemies. It is from their foes, not their friends, that cities learn the lesson of… — Aristophanes
- At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. — Aristotle