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First Quotes by Dave Barry
- Your first job is to prepare the soil. The best tool for this is your neighbor's garden tiller. If your neighbor does not own a…
- Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made in the last…
- First, a few words about this title. It isn't easy, coming up with book titles. A lot of the really good ones are taken. Thin…
- Although a science fair can seem like a big "pain" it can help you understand important scientific principles, such as Newton's First Law of Inertia,…
- I will vote for the first candidate who promises to use nuclear missiles against LinkedIn.
- Professional marriage counselors agree that the most productive and mature way to deal with marital anger is to stomp dramatically from the room. You want…
- Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it.
- Here in the news media, our focus is on speed. When we get hold of some new and possibly inaccurate information, our highest priority is…
- For the benefit of those of you who have real jobs and are not involved in the news business, I should first explain that .…
- Puns are little "plays on words" that a certain breed of person loves to spring on you and then look at you in a certain…
- Babies are equipped at birth with a number of instinctive reflexes and behavior patterns that cause them to spend their first several years trying to…
- The first animals to be successfully domesticated were dogs, which were a big help because they would bark all night and fetch thrown sticks, thereby…
- The Japanese eat, sleep, and breathe golf; the only thing they don't do is actually play it, because to get on a course, you have…
- 9 saw the first direct-dialed long-distance telephone call, between New York and San Francisco. Of course, back in that primitive era the parties had to…
- The greatest Electrical Pioneer of them all was Thomas Edison Edison's first major invention, in 1877, was the phonograph, which could soon be found in…
- I believe it was Shakespeare, or possibly Howard Cosell, who first observed that marriage is very much like a birthday candle, in that 'the flames…
- Thus the white men and Native Americans were able, through the spirit of goodwill and compromise, to reach the first in what would become a…
- Why don’t you lift the end?†said Alf. “It’s me back, Alf,†complained Mack. “You know how it troubles me.†“No more than mine troubles…
- He felt a momentary pang of regret that he had not spent more time with his beloved wife. But it passed when he remembered that…
- Sir,†James asked, “what are we going to do?†“We’re going to look for water,†said Alf. “And food?†said Tubby Ted. “Water first,†said…
More First Quotes
- Throughout all of this confusion, I hope I somehow get to you. I practice all the things I'd say to tell you… — Superman
- I am lucky, I'm the first to admit that. — J. J. Abrams
- Ironically, the first thing that appealed to me about Islam was its pluralism. The fact that the Koran praises all the great… — Karen Armstrong
- Do you know how much you mean to me? Do you know that you are the first thing I think of when… — Superman
- If we bang on the first date chances are our relationship is lasting about as long as my erection. — Nikhil Saluja
- No punishment has ever possessed enough power of deterrence to prevent the commission of crimes. On the contrary, whatever the punishment, once… — Hannah Arendt
- The spirit of Ubuntu, that once led Haiti to emerge as the first independent black nation in 1804, helped Venezuela, Colombia and… — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- The first thing I do when I receive wedding invitations in the mail is read them for typos. — Nikhil Saluja