Fart Quotes

168 Fart quotes by 130 unique authors

Everybody has opinions: I have them, you have them. And we are all told from the moment we open our eyes, that everyone is entitled… — Harlan Ellison
There are more microbes per person than the entire population of the world. Imagine that. Per person. This means that if the time scale is… — Alan Bennett
Sean: My wife used to fart when she was nervous. She had all sorts of wonderful little idiosyncrasies. She used to fart in her sleep.… — Good Will Hunting
Though I've turned 21, I don't drink. I'm an old hag now. I'm just an old fart. — Mena Suvari
The fart is coming from....inside your pants — Nikhil Saluja
A burp is just a fart that took the elevator....... — Nikhil Saluja
Every fart is a silent fart for deaf people. — Nikhil Saluja
Only an 'asshole' can fart in someone's face. — Nikhil Saluja
Love is like a fart. If you force it, it's probably shit ! — Unknown Author
Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears. Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain. Most of the… — Charlescliq
Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears. Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain. Most of the… — Unknown Author
'Stop worrying about the world ending today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.' 'When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made… — SweetangelUnknown
Omfg xD soo I farted this morning.. and my mom said it was like a fart bubble.. xD cuz I farted then I went upstairs… — Patience
That funny moment when you fart silently and when people realises that someone did fart, you look at the most fattest guy with disgust. — Evan Ceaser
That funny moment when sneeze so hard it makes you fart and when people look at you funny, you look at your pants and make… — Evan Ceaser
That awkward moment when you fart and your friend says I think one of the dogs just farted. — Unknown Author
I have a theory that women don't fart, they hold it in until it comes out as drama. — John Vercetti
Next time you fart, turn to the nearest person and say, Did you hear that asshole talk shit behind my back? — Green Monk
As long as our culture continues to fawn over its downward-aspiring lowest common denominators, the United States will remain a social and political punch line.… — Anthony Beal
And when he spank this I make that pussy fart. I'm such an actress, Melissa Joan Hart. — Nicki Minaj
Hayley: (To Stan) You know, Steve's dog would still be alive if you right-wing lunatics would agree to gun control. Stan: You know what I… — American Dad
She'd teach me about modern art, and I'd show her it's okay to fart. — Blink 182
Every single time we had to do a threatening thing to each other, for one thing, you always have your shirt off, and so in… — Robert Pattinson
Joe, you're always complaining I don't eat. If I don't eat, how am I gonna fart? — Lucky Luciano
Now the buds on the stems are like trees in an orchid. Anybody in the room who don't smoke weed is gettin' torch lit. By… — Devin Tha Dude

Who Wrote These Fart Quotes

130 authors contributed a total of 168 Fart Quotes, led by these top contributors: