"Next time you fart, turn to the nearest……" — Green Monk

More Asshole Quotes

This quote is filed under Asshole Quotes, one of 331 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:

• Whoever coined the term "Buyer Beware" was probably bleeding from the asshole. — George Carlin
• The more complicated the order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee,… — George Carlin
• Looking back, I realize that my life has been a series of incidents where one person has said to another,… — George Carlin
• I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here are a few… — George Carlin
• Recently I've been looking for something new. The past few projects I've worked on, I keep getting cast as the… — Dave Franco
• It was only after I untied my girlfriend from being face down on the bed that I learned her screaming,… — David Henry
• Awards are like hemorrhoids. Sooner or later every asshole gets one. — Francois Ozon
• Came to the world at a time when it was in need of a villain / An asshole, that role… — Eminem
• I hate the word homophobia. It's not a phobia. You are not scared. You are an asshole, — Morgan Freeman
• Really, all religious teachings can be boiled down to: “Just be cool. Don’t be an asshole. — Nick Offerman
• I like to go to concerts because I love to see my favorite band through the phone of the asshole… — Demetri Martin
• It doesn't matter how much of an asshole you are, there was always someone who thought you were cool. — Greg Proops

See all 331 Asshole Quotes »