Fart Quotes

168 quotes by 139 authors

[When] you're dying laughing because your three-year-old made a fart joke, it doesn't matter what else is going on. That's real happiness. — Gwyneth Paltrow
What is like a smelly fart, that, although invisible is obvious? One's own faults, that are precisely As obvious as the effort made to hide… — 7th Dalai Lama
Some days I feel like everyone in my world has plugged themselves into my kidney. I'm so tired. But when you're having dinner with your… — Gwyneth Paltrow
They didn't trademark everything back then. Now someone farts and they put a TM after it. Even Miller Lite says 'A Fine Pilsner Beer' on… — Michael Jackson
The devaluation of music and what it's now deemed to be worth is laughable to me. My single costs 99 cents. That's what a single… — Vince Gill
Cumberbatch - it sounds like a fart in a bath, doesn't it? What a fluffy old name. I can never say it on a Monday… — Benedict Cumberbatch
As soon as somebody farts around me, I think it's hilarious. This is something my brothers did that now the boys at work are obsessed… — Jennifer Lawrence
Let me see if I can put this in scientific terms: Think of autism like a fart, and vaccines are the finger you pull to… — Jenny McCarthy
If you eat Chinese food, your farts come out like Chinese food. If you eat Mexican food, your farts come out like Mexican food. And… — Megan Fox
At my age, you sort of fart your way into a role. — Donald Sutherland
I have more talent in my smallest fart than you have in your entire body. — Walter Matthau
I play around with my Japanese Garden. Since Im half way to 70 today I need to start pruning trees and sharpening plants like an… — Jason Bateman
I thought the fart was a human thing. It's something to do with like, arse cheeks, or whatever. — Karl Pilkington
A dog is not intelligent. Never trust an animal that's surprised by it's own farts — Frank Skinner
I'm into paradoxes. I wanted to make an album about them, but the group told me I was a pretentious fart. They were right. — Brian May
When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell. — Adam Carolla
Success is like a fart - only your own smells nice. — James P. Hogan
The average pregnant woman farts 15 times that! — Jessica Simpson
I have a playlist of farts on my phone. — Lena Headey
Heat radiated off Henry's face. Salty snot ran down his upper lip. A majestic fart propelled him to the top of Section 12, just at… — Chad Harbach

Who Wrote These Fart Quotes

139 authors contributed a total of 168 Fart Quotes, led by these top contributors: