Fart Quotes

168 Fart quotes by 130 unique authors

The only thing that bothers me is if I'm in a restaurant and I'm eating and someone says, 'Hey, mind if I smoke?' I always… — Steve Martin
I tell a lot of fart and poop jokes. I can't help it. I have no filter, and it just comes out. — Tyler Posey
She's a warm fart at Christmas. — Jethro Tull
We're being treated to the wisdom of some puffed up, little fart. Doing exactly what I used to do, pretensions to anarchy and art. — Don Henley
Confucius once said that a bear could not fart at the North Pole without causing a big wind in Chicago. — Philip Jose Farmer
Freedom, Truth, Honour Â— you could rattle off a hundred such words and behind every one of them would gather a thousand punks, pompous little… — Hunter S. Thompson
I didn't want to do a throwaway, mindless movie with fart jokes just to make 6-year-olds laugh. I want to provide my children with some… — Fred Durst
I love baseball. I'll probably end up one of those old farts who go to spring training in Florida every year and drive from game… — Steve Earle
A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. — Jenny Eclair
Jerry Ford is so dumb he can't fart and chew gum at the same time. — Lyndon B. Johnson
My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away. — Jenny McCarthy
There's nothing worse than a bunch of jaded old farts, and that's a fact. — Robert Plant
It seems that when you have cancer you are a brave battler against the disease, but when you have Alzheimer's you are an old fart.… — Terry Pratchett
I'd like to think I'd never do a gratuitous fart joke. — Harold Ramis
If I fail, the film industry writes me off as another statistic. If I succeed, they pay me a million bucks to fly out to… — George A. Romero
I am happy everywhere except in places where I see glitz and rich farts. I am happiest in Brooklyn, where the concentration of rich farts… — Nassim Nicholas Taleb
I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different. — Kurt Vonnegut
Electronic communities build nothing. You wind up with nothing. We are dancing animals. How beautiful it is to get up and go out and do… — Kurt Vonnegut
I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. — James Joyce
I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was… — Graham Chapman

Who Wrote These Fart Quotes

130 authors contributed a total of 168 Fart Quotes, led by these top contributors: