Fart Quotes

168 Fart quotes by 130 unique authors

Television is the Antichrist, and I can assure you after only three or four generations, people will no longer even know how to fart on… — Carlos Ruiz Zafon
I once lay in a white hospital for the dying and the dying self, where some god pissed a rain of reason to make things… — Charles Bukowski
In many ways, Eulah-Beulah prepared me for literary criticism. After having a two-hundred-pound babysitter fart on your face and yell Pow!, The Village Voice holds… — Stephen King
Most people enjoy the sight of their own handwriting as they enjoy the smell of their own farts. — Wystan Hugh Auden
The moral of the story is we're here on Earth to fart around. And, of course, the computers will do us out of that. And,… — Kurt Vonnegut
I fart in your general direction. — Graham Chapman
I want to do it too!" (sitting motionless) Nudge: "Nope, you stand out like a fart in a church." Max: (muttering) "Appropriately enough." Iggy: "What… — James Patterson
Your job today is to pass gas. You do that and we can start feeding you liquids. No fart, no food. — Khaled Hosseini
People dressed in a certain kind of clothing are never wrong. Also they never fart. — Margaret Atwood
Farts come from no one and nowhere; they are anonymous emanations that belong to the group as a whole, and even when every person in… — Paul Auster
Fart for freedom, fart for libertyâ€”and fart proudly. — Benjamin Franklin
Purple light passed over the paper, but nothing happened. "Next!" Amy said. She was sure the man in black was going to burst in on… — Rick Riordan
You stand out like a fart in a church. — James Patterson
I wonder why no one called the police about the rocket launcher? God knows my neighbors usually report it if I so much as fart… — Sherrilyn Kenyon
A person who discreetly farts in an elevator is not a divine being, and a man needs to know this. — Robert Bly
...And nostalgia is a cancer. Nostalgia will fill your heart up with tumors. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what you are. You're just an old fart… — Sherman Alexie
Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart? — Janet Evanovich
Just let them sit in the goddam sun. But the world won't let them because there's nothing more dangerous than letting old farts sit in… — Frank McCourt
There is nothing fiercer than a failed artist. The energy remains, but, having no outlet, it implodes in a great black fart of rage which… — Erica Jong
I don't feel so good." Lula said. And she farted. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart. "Excuse me." she… — Janet Evanovich

Who Wrote These Fart Quotes

130 authors contributed a total of 168 Fart Quotes, led by these top contributors: