Fart Quotes

168 Fart quotes by 130 unique authors

So, you're worried that a pink dragon will fly over the concent and fart nerve gas on us? — Neal Stephenson
No Angie, it's instant. Like when someone trips in the cafeteria and you're laughing so hard milk comes out of your nose, the guy next… — George Lopez
Harriet Jones: When they fart, if you'll pardon the word, it doesn't smell like a fart, pardon the word, it's like something else. What is… — Russell T Davies
Any man can fart in a closed room and say that he commands the wind — Scott Lynch
Your friends are at the house.' I sit up, straight. 'Who'? 'I don't know. Weird people. The Sullivan girl, whose father got the Gosford police… — Melina Marchetta
We're here on Earth to fart around — Kurt Vonnegut
People say that you always have to tell the truth. But they do not mean this because you are not allowed to tell old people… — Mark Haddon
Isnâ€™t he gorgeous?â€ With those rolls, the wet-sounding grunts, bulbous wiggly tail, and smashed faceâ€”not to mention the fart the dog let out once he… — Jeaniene Frost
You're all mad for words. Words are just farts from a lot of fools who have swallowed too many books. Give me things! — Robertson Davies
Did you hear something, Nora?â€ Vee asked. â€œI thought I heard something.â€ â€œYou definitely heard something,â€ I agreed. â€œCould that be â€¦ a dog fart… — Becca Fitzpatrick
I am of a different mind ten times in the course of a day. But I resist the devil, and often it is with a… — Martin Luther
My waist is a 30. The jeans are a 28. When I fart, the Reeboks blow off. — Steve Kluger
Ah, babies! Theyâ€™re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts. — Tina Fey
A sneeze travels at a peak velocity of two hundred miles per hour. A burp, more slowly; a fart, slower yet. But a kiss thrown… — Tom Robbins
There's a Drunk Midget in My House Ah, babies! They're more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts. Like most… — Tina Fey
I swear, guys in groups are capable of the stupidest things." "Like war," Kellan says, heaping napkins and ketchup packets onto her tray. "And jumping… — Jay Asher
And now to sleep, to dream...perchance to fart. — Anthony Bourdain
Have you been sniffing fairy farts? — Kim Harrison
Home is where the heart is, home is where the fart is. Come let us fart in the home. There is no art in a… — Ernest Hemingway
Don't be more serious than God. God invented dog farts. God designed your body's plumbing system. God designed an ostrich. If He didn't do it,… — Peter Kreeft

Who Wrote These Fart Quotes

130 authors contributed a total of 168 Fart Quotes, led by these top contributors: