Fart Quotes

168 quotes by 130 authors

You couldn't shoot a fart out of your own ass! — John Marston
I'm only interested in heavy metal when it's me who's playing it. I suppose it's a bit like smelling your own farts. — John Entwistle
If it doesn't fart or eat hay, she isn't interested. — Prince Philip
Sometimes I wish Marta were more loyal to me. Like the other day. The car parked next to ours had a real dirty windshield; so… — Jack Handey
It having been a very cold night last night I had got some cold, and so in pain by wind, and a sure precursor of… — Samuel Pepys
Modern music is three farts and a raspberry, orchestrated. — John Barbirolli
Don't be more serious than God. God invented dog farts. — Peter Kreeft
This Earle of Oxford, making of his low obeisance to Queen Elizabeth, happened to let a Fart, at which he was so abashed and ashamed… — John Aubrey
So familiar are eggs to us, however, that in the eighteenth century they were referred to as cackling farts, on the basis that chickens cackled… — Mark Forsyth
The worst thing a girl could do on a date is fart louder than me. — Niall Horan
My dad was proud of himself when he farted. He sounds like he's strangling a chicken when he farts. — Unknown Author
If the game is run properly as a professional game, you do not need 57 old farts running rugby. — Will Carling
Because nitrous oxide [released by nitrate-fertilised soil] is 296 times stronger than COâ‚‚ at global warming and methane [cow farts] is about 26 times as… — Thom Hartmann
A happy fart never comes from a miserable ass. — Martin Luther
Actions defined a man; words were a fart in the wind — Mario Puzo
Even the idea of a fart makes me laugh. Saying the word 'fart' makes me laugh. I have iFart on my phone. I have remote… — George Clooney
You Know the Most Dangerous Thing In the Water? A Shark Fart. — Gary Busey
At one time or another, farts have coincided with every other sound, including this quote. — Craig Benzine
Every time there's a cut in the action, we joke and dance around, there's show tunes and fart noises. — Darby Stanchfield
ClichÃ©s are static, the emotion behind them long spent. If you are tempted to use them, here is a saying of my motherâ€™s: Fang pi… — Amy Tan

Who Wrote These Fart Quotes

130 authors contributed a total of 168 Fart Quotes, led by these top contributors: