Facebook Status Quotes

1247 Facebook Status quotes by 341 unique authors

Here I confess; I miss being silly with you, laughing with you, smiling because of you. — Unknown Author
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. — Nikhil Saluja
Prefix: What a man does just before his wife calls the plumber. Or electrician, mechanic ... — Nikhil Saluja
Axis: Instruments used to fell trees — Nikhil Saluja
Math: 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling: 1 lite year — Nikhil Saluja
I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. Honest, I only meant to rough him up a bit. — Nikhil Saluja
Friends will attend my funeral. Good friends will cry at my funeral. But my best friends would update my Facebook status Who knew they had… — Nishan Panwar
I like my beer as I like my beer. Beer. — Nikhil Saluja
I feel like today is going to be a good day but I am bringing my shotgun just in case. — Nikhil Saluja
BLOODY HELL FUCKING SHIT GOD DAMNIT I RIPPED MY KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON POSTER! — Nikhil Saluja
Topaz is my birth stone. Tomb is my death stone. — Nikhil Saluja
It's really so hard to talk with girls after you masturbate. — Nikhil Saluja
In my version of volleyball I use my legs and also don't play volleyball. — Nikhil Saluja
The hospital lab is recruiting. They're looking for new blood. — Nikhil Saluja
Honestly, I love it when I catch you staring. — Nikhil Saluja
Assumptions are those things we make when we are too lazy to check out the facts. — Nikhil Saluja
Oh, your account is protected? What do you tweet? Nuclear launch codes? — Nikhil Saluja
When a woman asks you to guess her age, it's like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to diffuse a bomb. — Nikhil Saluja
I think that a man with a helmet defending his country should make more money than a man with a helmet defending a football. — Nikhil Saluja
K. is the shortest way to spell Fuck you.. — Nikhil Saluja
Laptop Speakers: Too quiet for music, too loud for porn. — Nikhil Saluja
Solvent: A hole in the bottom of a shoe — Nikhil Saluja
Armament: Hand I said, but ARMAMENT. — Nikhil Saluja
Vice: Anything you enjoy that is bad for you — Nikhil Saluja
Studying fungus is a way to mold young minds — Nikhil Saluja

Who Wrote These Facebook Status Quotes

341 authors contributed a total of 1,247 Facebook Status Quotes, led by these top contributors: