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Facebook Status Quotes by Homer
- Because they're stupid, that's why. That's why everybody does everything.
- You know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button.
- You know those balls that they put on car antennas so you can find them in the parking lot? Those should be on every car!
- Now what is a wedding? Well, Webster's dictionary describes a wedding as the process of removing weeds from one's garden.
- I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are.
- When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces...I just know they're about to jab me with something.
- It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.
- Trying is the first step toward failure.
More Facebook Status Quotes
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
- If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving be me. — Wystan Hugh Auden
- Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. — Dave Barry
- Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. — Bernard Baruch
- Your own mind is a sacred enclosure into which nothing harmful can enter except by your permission. — Arnold Bennett
- It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend. — William Blake
- Who so loves believes the impossible. — Elizabeth Barrett Browning
- Strengthen me by sympathizing with my strength, not my weakness. — Amos Bronson Alcott
- Love is always open arms. If you close your arms about love you will find that you are left holding only yourself. — Leo Buscaglia
- Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. — Truman Capote
- Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. — Dale Carnegie
- Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. — Dan Castellaneta