Facebook Status Quotes

1247 Facebook Status quotes by 341 unique authors

5% of all hearing loss is a result of sitting in a restaurant next to a table full of women who just received a complementry… — Nikhil Saluja
Women over 200 pounds with a visible thong should have to register as sex offenders. — Nikhil Saluja
All women are witches, but if you pretend to listen to them when they talk, they will probably spare you from black magic. — Nikhil Saluja
Remember the day I gave you my word, Yes I need them back. — Nikhil Saluja
History may repeat itself, But Herstory won't ever shut the fuck up about it. — Nikhil Saluja
When life gives me lemons, I'm like What's the catch? Because in this expensive world no one's just giving away free lemons. — Nikhil Saluja
How we all always forget that there are more people helping the victims than those people creating the victims. — Nikhil Saluja
I'm pretty sure my grandmom watches over me whenever I masturbate. The sound of that walker is so unbearable. — Nikhil Saluja
Don't try to please people you'll fail, But you can piss them off and please yourself! — Nikhil Saluja
A relationship with God is the most important relationship you can have. Trust him and everything will always turn out fine. — Nikhil Saluja
I had a dream about a tweet. That's completely safe right? — Nikhil Saluja
Using Viagra to masturbate is a hardest time in every man's life... — Nikhil Saluja
Not everyone is going to like you and you are not going to like everyone. — Nikhil Saluja
Just saw two homeless men hitting each other with pieces of cardboard. Pillow fight!! — Nikhil Saluja
Some people are just so good at faking feelings. — Nikhil Saluja
It's funny how everyday seems the same, yet when you look back a lot has changed. — Nikhil Saluja
My Ex-Wife was very hot. She died in burning car. — Nikhil Saluja
Imagine meeting someone who understood even the dustiest corners of your mixed-up soul — Nikhil Saluja
If her husband walks in while you're fucking her... ask him to join. You're already fucked anyways... — Nikhil Saluja
In their last moments, people show you who they really are — Nikhil Saluja
Sometimes We ignore the obvious because we get too caught up in being hopeful. — Nikhil Saluja
When you fuck over people who've been nothing but good to you, you create demons for yourself. — Nikhil Saluja
I hate knowing that I care more about other people than other people will ever care about me — Nikhil Saluja
If youre protective and tall and sweet and cute and smell good and give good hugs then I want to date you — Nikhil Saluja
If you're ever feeling down, just remember that I'll always be there to feel you up. — Nikhil Saluja

Who Wrote These Facebook Status Quotes

341 authors contributed a total of 1,247 Facebook Status Quotes, led by these top contributors: