Comedy Quotes

2637 quotes by 1344 authors

Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing… — Bill Hicks
To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer;… — Woody Allen
Oh Christ, the exhaustion of not knowing anything. It's so tiring and hard on the nerves. It really takes it out of you, not knowing… — Martin Amis
Lord, what fools these mortals be! — William Shakespeare
There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and… — Mark Twain
My favorite comedy is comedy where nothing is achieved and there is no point. — Conan O'Brien
Life doesn't make any sense, and we all pretend it does. Comedy's job is to point out that it doesn't make sense, and that it… — Eric Idle
That perhaps is your task--to find the relation between things that seem incompatible yet have a mysterious affinity, to absorb every experience that comes your… — Virginia Woolf
I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was… — Graham Chapman
My most persistent memory of stand - up is of my mouth being in the present and my mind being in the future: the mouth… — Steve Martin
Comedy aims at representing men as worse, Tragedy as better than in actual life. — Aristotle
My relationship with my father had been on the proverbial fritz since the time I was fifteen and called the police to report him for… — Chelsea Handler
Comedy is deemed inferior to tragedy primarily because of the social prevalence of narcissistic pathology. In other words people who are too self important to… — Tom Robbins
I myself feel that our country, for whose Constitution I fought in a just war, might as well have been invaded by Martians and body… — Kurt Vonnegut
What stops me from taking myself seriously, even though I am essentially a serious person, is that I find myself extremely ridiculous, not in the… — Gustave Flaubert
I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, "My dad can beat up your dad." I'd say… — Bill Hicks
I was supposed to write a romantic comedy, but my characters broke up. — Ann Brashares
The comedy of man survives the tragedy of man. — Gilbert K. Chesterton
Comedy is the blues for people who canâ€™t sing. — Chris Rock
Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with some one long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family. — Chelsea Handler

Who Wrote These Comedy Quotes

1,344 authors contributed a total of 2,637 Comedy Quotes, led by these top contributors: