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Better Quotes by George Carlin
- I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- Religion - religion, at best - at BEST - is like a lift in your shoe. If you need it for a while, and it…
- Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don't ask me to wear your shoes.
- There's a reason education sucks, and it's the same reason it will never ever ever be fixed. It's never going to get any better. Don't…
- Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view.
- How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelet? Are we so much better than chickens all of…
- Tits always look better in a pink sweater.
- I don't have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I think that speaks for itself. The less…
- The older you get, the better you realize you were.
- I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I…
More Better Quotes
- I keep my friends as misers do their treasure, because, of all the things granted us by wisdom, none is greater or… — Pietro Aretino
- Why, I'd like nothing better than to achieve some bold adventure, worthy of our trip. — Aristophanes
- If one way be better than another, that you may be sure is nature's way. — Aristotle
- It is clearly better that property should be private, but the use of it common; and the special business of the legislator… — Aristotle
- Making mistakes is a lot better than not doing anything. — Billie Joe Armstrong
- I think when you're 10 years old, it's too much to see something with the threat of death in every episode. Kids… — J. J. Abrams
- Ever since the Crusades, when Christians from western Europe were fighting holy wars against Muslims in the near east, western people have… — Karen Armstrong
- The power of one, if fearless and focused, is formidable, but the power of many working together is better. — Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo
- Suppose that we are wise enough to learn and know - and yet not wise enough to control our learning and knowledge,… — Isaac Asimov
- I can scarcely manage to scribble a tolerable English letter. I know that I am not a scholar, but meantime I am… — John James Audubon
- God judged it better to bring good out of evil than to suffer no evil to exist. — Saint Augustine
- Anything in any way beautiful derives its beauty from itself and asks nothing beyond itself. Praise is no part of it, for… — Marcus Aurelius