Asshole Quotes

331 Asshole quotes by 217 unique authors

Don't be an asshole," the guy snapped as he cracked a freshie. "Oh, right, because two in this group would be overkill. — J R Ward
There are just as many bitches out there as bastards. Equal opportunity asshole-ism. — Kelley Armstrong
Chivalry isn't really dead you know." "Oh?" "Nah. That guy's just an asshole. — Tammara Webber
Hey, sexy. Why haven’t you called?” The cooing sound came from behind me, and I glanced back over my shoulder to see a familiar-looking brunette.… — Abbi Glines
I’m not mad. I’m in a perfectly happy mood, you asshole. — Kurt Cobain
What would Jesus, or any human being who isn't an asshole, do? — Jon Stewart
↑ top up position down The fact that I suspect I'm an asshole means I probably am not, because a real asshole doesn't think he's… — Jonathan Tropper
Okay. If you want to do this thing with Marcus then fine. I’ll take it and deal with it. But when he hurts you. When… — Abbi Glines
Then I yelled through his door, "It's an anniversary gift for you, asshole. Two whole weeks early. FIFTEEN YEARS IS BIG METAL CHICKENS. — Jenny Lawson
It's as if once you hit high school, you're programmed, like a robot, to be an asshole to your parents. — Sara Zarr
... you just turned down the woman who put a marshmallow duck in your hot chocolate. I hope you feel like a real asshole now. — Rachel Vincent
That’s what a skinwalker is: a mean asshole with a meaner spirit squatting inside.” "I’ve run into some of those at the dog park," Oberon… — Kevin Hearne
Here's a tip...If you leave a girl crying you're probably not doing your Don Juan routine right, asshole. — Rachel Caine
Are you a censor? Do you tell people not to say “girl”? Shame on you! If nothing offends you, you’re a saint or you’re psychotic.… — William T. Vollmann
Life's too short to be an asshole, as an employer or as an employee. — Louis C. K.
I hate you fuck you asshole never speak to me again fucking done with your shit get fucked you asshole — Talyiah
Her mouth, pussy, or asshole, life is full of hard decisions. — Lil Wayne
Sometimes I act weird, sometimes I act strange, sometimes I act stupid, sometimes I'm a jerk...but one thing you don't realize, this asshole you're talking… — Superman
If I'm a sarcastic asshole around you it's either because I'm comfortable teasing you or I hate you... good luck figuring out which one. — Nikhil Saluja
When the fucking world lets you down, when that damn person you trust leaves you behind, when no asshole seems to understand, remember that theres… — Superman
A friend in need is a dependent asshole. — Nikhil Saluja
You may think that Im an asshole talking to you. You may think that Im a jerk missing you. You may think that Im a… — Superman
I hate when people walk in on me masturbating and look at me like I'm the asshole. — Nikhil Saluja
Only an 'asshole' can fart in someone's face. — Nikhil Saluja
If hes not calling you, its because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesnt follow through on… — Babloo

Who Wrote These Asshole Quotes

217 authors contributed a total of 331 Asshole Quotes, led by these top contributors: