Asshole Quotes

331 Asshole quotes by 217 unique authors

Oh, baby, this ain’t asshole. Trust me. There’s a whole keg of asshole I haven’t even begun to tap yet. — Sherrilyn Kenyon
Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole. — Tina Fey
I hear Raleigh's new accounting business isn't doing well. Maybe up in New York or somewhere it's a good thing, but in Jackson, Mississippi, people… — Kathryn Stockett
I didn’t say, You are such a stuffy asshole. And he didn’t say, If you ever burn one of my quarter-of-a-million dollar rugs again I’ll… — Karen Marie Moning
See you just don’t understand women the way I do J.D. They want it all: a career apple martinis financial independence great shoes but at… — Julie James
On my license, it says I'm an organ donor, but the truth is I'd consider being an organ martyr. I'm sure I'm worth a lot… — Jodi Picoult
Ever hear of a telephone, asshole? — Julie James
Future is like an asshole. Everybody has one.---John Taylor (Nightside Series) — Simon R. Green
The phone rang, picked up, and the same male voice announced, “Chris Powers." "Hey there, Chris. Are you aware it's a felony to make threats… — Josh Lanyon
But he is pretty. God, I hope he's not an asshole. Do you think there's any chance he's both non-orifice and single? I mean, seriously.… — Laini Taylor
Giving in to a shrill instinct, she ran around the side of the building. Butch was marching toward his car as if he were carrying… — J R Ward
I think most people, and I'm talking vamp or human, are shitty. They put on an act. They pretend to be all nicey-nice, but are… — P. C. Cast
Rule 1: When all else fails, follow instructions. And Rule 2: Don't be an asshole. — Anne Lamott
Testosterone overload?" Merinus gave an unladylike grunt. "More like asshole overload if you ask me. — Lora Leigh
I know that asshole you were with in college --” “Can we leave that asshole out of it?” Please, gentlemen, one asshole at a time. — Josh Lanyon
What’s with her?” says the painter. “She’s mad because she’s a woman,” Jon says. This is something I haven’t heard for years, not since high… — Margaret Atwood
When it's asshole-tightening time, that's when you see what people are made of. Or at least what their asshole is made of. — Justin Halpern
On My First Driving Lesson “First things first: A car has five gears. What is that smell?…Okay, first thing before that first thing: Farting in… — Justin Halpern
Back off, asshole. I haven't had a woman today, so I'm in no mood for this kind of bullshit. — Gena Showalter
Only a real asshole takes liberties with someone else's car stereo. That's serious. — Sarah Dessen
I'm gonna make that asshole gnaw his own hand off that night, dammit. — Tammara Webber
What did you write on here? ‘Don’t die’?” “No, I wrote, ‘Don’t be an asshole!’”I headed for the house. “On yours or mine?” “On yours.”… — Ilona Andrews
Your Plan and the stuff that comes out of my asshole bear a suspicious resemblance to each other. — Stephen King
You said you'd kiss me if I lost Tank." --- "You want me to kiss you?" Oh boy. "You were happy I'd lost your puppy?"… — Jill Shalvis
In your twenties you're becoming who you're going to be and so you might as well not be an asshole. — Cheryl Strayed

Who Wrote These Asshole Quotes

217 authors contributed a total of 331 Asshole Quotes, led by these top contributors: