Asshole Quotes

331 Asshole quotes by 217 unique authors

Everything in Los Angeles is too large, too loud and usually banal in concept… The plastic asshole of the world. — William Faulkner
What Jack didn't understand was that no matter where he went, the same asshole got off the plane. — Stephen King
Tweet, tweet, you're alive, you ignorant asshole. — Richard Ford
For a hundred years or more the world, our world, has been dying. And not one man, in these last hundred years or so, has… — Henry Miller
Boys are like purses. You're always gonna have that one boy that you're always comfortable with and you know you'll always kind of like. That's… — Lauren Conrad
Busy' is another word for 'asshole'. 'Asshole' is another word for the guy you're dating. — Greg Behrendt
Laugh it up, asshole. But she who laughs last laughs longest, and I intend to belly roll tonight ~Tabitha — Sherrilyn Kenyon
Why don't I like you?" "Because you think I'm an asshole, and I'm not really, I'm just British and, well, you're not. — Alan Rickman
Some guys-a lot of guys-don't believe what they are seeing, especially if it gets in the way of what they want to eat or drink… — Stephen King
J.D. cleared his throat and pushed the button on the intercom. “Uh, Payton, hi. It’s J.D.” Dead silence. Then another crackle. “Sorry. Not interested.” Cute.… — Julie James
We really have to get going," Sam said. "Can we leave the car here and pick it up later?" The monk said, "Does a dog… — Christopher Moore
Once an asshole, always an asshole. — Deb Caletti
I didn't wash today. I wasn't dirty. If I'm not dirty, I don't wash. Some weeks I don't have to shower at all. I just… — George Carlin
You're not getting this back you know. Consider it an asshole tax. — Chuck Palahniuk
Plus, in one of his e-mails, the guy said he didn't like pancakes. What kind of asshole doesn't like pancakes? — A. J. Jacobs
I mean that it's all right to go to bed with an asshole but don't ever have a baby with one. — David Gilmour
THERE'S NO MONKEY BUSINESS ABOUT THIS ELECTION,' he told the voters. 'IF YOU'RE ENOUGH OF AN ASSHOLE TO VOTE FOR NIXON, YOUR DUMB VOTE WILL… — John Irving
I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn… — George Carlin
A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a license… — Frank Zappa
And speaking of scary things, I need to leave. My guides are fading even as we speak. (Talon) I hate when you commune with the… — Sherrilyn Kenyon
And neither do I, asshole. (Wren) Wow. Multiple syllables and a whole sentence from the tiger. Who’d have ever thought it? Whoever she was, she… — Sherrilyn Kenyon
me: why is it upset? shouldn't it be downset? gideon: i will file a lawsuit against the dictionaries first thing tomorrow morning. we're going to… — David Levithan
You couldn't be satisfied with being an amateur asshole, could you, Jimbo! You had to go and turn pro on me! — Susan Elizabeth Phillips
You already have one asshole, you don't need another one — Greg Behrendt
You punk asshole. What was this? A game for you? This is my life’s work you just annihilated and for what? Shits and giggles? Or… — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Who Wrote These Asshole Quotes

217 authors contributed a total of 331 Asshole Quotes, led by these top contributors: