« All Asshole Quotes · Nikhil Saluja's Page
Asshole Quotes by Nikhil Saluja
- If I'm a sarcastic asshole around you it's either because I'm comfortable teasing you or I hate you... good luck figuring out which one.
- A friend in need is a dependent asshole.
- I hate when people walk in on me masturbating and look at me like I'm the asshole.
- Only an 'asshole' can fart in someone's face.
- If you bleach your asshole and add ammonia... would you fart Mustard Gas? ` Asking for a Friend
- If you are an asshole, we can be best Friends.
- Snoring is your body's way of telling everyone not to disturb me asshole can't you see we are sleeping.
- If a girl takes the time to straighten her hair and you don't fall in love with her you're an asshole.
- If you love someone so much you're waiting for them, you're noble. If you're making someone who loves you wait for you, you're an asshole.
- Not to brag but its women who always say 'SORRY' to me Like this women in bar last night said: SORRY Asshole, I don't wanna…
- If you're the one who judges someone reading them, you're an asshole for not inviting me for beer so we can do it together.
- So you have an inspiring bio about being the change that you want to be in this world, you're an asshole.
- I'm the asshole who parks the shopping cart right next to your car in the parking lot.
- Any man can lick pussy, but it takes a real man to lick her asshole.
- There is a very thin line between gentleman and sarcastic asshole.
- There's always that one asshole who says at band camp when someone else says that one time...
- If you're not using Instagram congrats on not being an asshole.
- Just because I send you to voicemail doesn't mean that I want you to leave me one, you fucking asshole!
- Shockingly, I'm not this big of an asshole in real life.
- A fun game to play is to guess if the waiter is walking towards you with your food order and calling him an asshole when…
- If you park next to me like an asshole, I'll make sure to open my door like an asshole and ding your car.
- It always saddens me when someone says I'm not funny, then my wife tickles my asshole and I feel better again.
- Guys who piss on toilet seats are fucking assholes. You know how I know? Because I'm that fucking asshole.
- Every time I fart, I feel like my asshole is talking shit behind my back.
More Asshole Quotes
- Whoever coined the term "Buyer Beware" was probably bleeding from the asshole. — George Carlin
- The more complicated the order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half soy,… — George Carlin
- Looking back, I realize that my life has been a series of incidents where one person has said to another, "Get this… — George Carlin
- I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here are a few I would… — George Carlin
- Recently I've been looking for something new. The past few projects I've worked on, I keep getting cast as the asshole. I… — Dave Franco
- It was only after I untied my girlfriend from being face down on the bed that I learned her screaming, 'Asshole!' was… — David Henry
- Awards are like hemorrhoids. Sooner or later every asshole gets one. — Francois Ozon
- Came to the world at a time when it was in need of a villain / An asshole, that role I think… — Eminem
- I hate the word homophobia. It's not a phobia. You are not scared. You are an asshole, — Morgan Freeman
- Really, all religious teachings can be boiled down to: “Just be cool. Don’t be an asshole. — Nick Offerman
- I like to go to concerts because I love to see my favorite band through the phone of the asshole who's standing… — Demetri Martin
- It doesn't matter how much of an asshole you are, there was always someone who thought you were cool. — Greg Proops